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Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in cinema. Discuss both views and give your own opinion v.2

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in cinema. 2
Entertainment has become a crucial part of human life. Many thinkers believe that movies are best enjoyed on big screens of a movie theatre rather than on small screens of mobiles. This essay will delve into both these views, along with my personal opinion. On one hand, watching films on phones and tablets is convenient as these small devices are portable and are easily accessible. For instance, many persons of the working class are often seen watching movies in local trains and buses while travelling from work to home. Moreover, watching cinema on these gadgets is much cheaper as compared to a cineplex as an individual, in order to watch a movie in theatre, have to spend a hefty amount of money on travelling and on buying other eatables from the cinema itself. On the other hand, a Cineplex offers wider screens with excellent graphics and a better sound quality which provides a larger than life experience to the audience while watching an entertaining film. Additionally, the motion pictures which are viewed on laptops and gadgets are mostly pirated, and seeing a feature film free of cost will ultimately affect the makers of movies and those who are engaged in the movie industry to earn their living, thus, adversely disturbing the economy as a whole. To illustrate, a research by a popular magazine has shown that around 50 directors in India are declared bankrupt each year because of illegal reproduction of their movies. To conclude, albeit there are many advantages of watching films on the handheld devices as they are handier and less costly, however, in my opinion, the theatres provide an extremely satisfying, joyous and interesting experience as compared to small screens and must be preferred.
Entertainment has become a crucial part of human life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
thinkers believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
are best enjoyed on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screens
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
rather
than on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screens
of mobiles. This essay will delve into both these views, along with my personal opinion.

On one hand, watching films on phones and tablets is convenient as these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
devices are portable and are
easily
accessible.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
persons of the working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in local trains and buses while travelling from work to home.
Moreover
, watching cinema on these gadgets is much cheaper
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to a
Possible spelling mistake found.
cineplex
as an individual, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend a hefty amount of money on travelling and on buying other eatables from the cinema itself.

On the other hand
, a Cineplex offers wider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screens
with excellent graphics and a better sound quality which provides a larger than life experience to the audience while watching an entertaining film.
Additionally
, the motion pictures which
are viewed
on laptops and gadgets are
mostly
pirated, and seeing a feature film free of cost will
ultimately
affect the makers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and those who
are engaged
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
industry to earn their living,
thus
,
adversely
disturbing the economy as a whole. To illustrate,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
by a popular magazine has shown that around 50 directors in India
are declared
bankrupt each year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of illegal reproduction of their movies.

To conclude
, albeit there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of watching films on the handheld devices as they are handier and less costly,
however
, in my opinion, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
provide an
extremely
satisfying, joyous and interesting experience as compared to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screens
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be preferred
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in cinema. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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