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An increasing number of developing countries are expanding their tourist business. Why do you think it is the case? And do you think it is positive change? v.1

An increasing number of developing countries are expanding their tourist business. Why do you think it is the case? And do you think it is positive change? v. 1
Tourism plays a vital role in most of the country’s economy due to this reason many developing countries are focusing on their tourist business. The financial aspects really matter when the business such as tourism contributing a huge part towards the national economy. In my opinion, the tourism business is a beneficial share for any country. The majority of developing countries are concentrating on their tourism in order to attract more people all around the globe. There are certain positive points which pay its major part to the economy, this result in financial stability to local business and its development. In addition to this, the global appearance really matters to showcase the development of any country. For instance, UAE one of the wealthiest countries in the world enriched due to its oil and gas reserves but, their tourism business now contributes approximately 70% towards their economy. This expounds clearly why tourism is so important to every country. In addition to this, every country has been built on the basis of its cultural values and ethics. Tourists get attracted and travel all across the world to experience different traditions and languages. Owing to this reason, the governments will get more aware and they will take corrective steps in order to preserve their ancient monuments which reflect their true culture. The tourism brings the new employment opportunities, economic stabilization to local communities and the platform to showcase their culture to the world. To conclude, in my opinion, definitely, it’s an optimistic revolution in terms of constructive measures towards tourism which will boost most of the country’s economy. Local communities and governments will get benefits in order to balance their general public life financially with the global appearance.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourism
plays a vital role in most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
due to this reason
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are focusing on their tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. The financial aspects
really
matter when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
contributing a huge part towards the national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
. In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
is a beneficial share for any country.

The majority of developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are concentrating on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
in order to attract more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
all around the globe. There are certain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
points which pay its major part to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
, this result in financial stability to local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and its development.
In addition
to this, the global appearance
really
matters to showcase the development of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For instance
, UAE one of the wealthiest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the world enriched due to its oil and gas reserves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
contributes approximately 70% towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
. This expounds
clearly
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to every country.

In addition
to this, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has
been built
on the basis of its cultural values and ethics. Tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attracted and travel all across the world to experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
traditions and languages. Owing to this reason, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
aware and
they will take corrective steps in order to preserve their ancient monuments which reflect their true culture. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
brings the new employment opportunities, economic stabilization to local communities and the platform to showcase their culture to the world.

To conclude
, in my opinion, definitely, it’s an optimistic revolution in terms of constructive measures towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
which will boost most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
. Local communities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
benefits in order to balance their
Consider using "public".
general public
life
financially
with the global appearance.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay An increasing number of developing countries are expanding their tourist business. Why do you think it is the case? And do you think it is positive change? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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