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Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets and there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.4

Many people enjoy the convenience of watching movies on their mobiles phones or tablets rather than a going out to a theatre. However, there are others who prefer to watch movies in a theatre to enjoy it. Before presenting my view, I intend to discuss both sides of the argument. Firstly, there are numerous advantage of watching a movie on one’s device like convenience, the person can see a movie while travelling or at their leisure time. It also cost and time saving, as people don’t have to pay expensive ticket prices and save on commute time However, it is likely that the person can get too engrossed in the movie and wouldn’t be aware of his surroundings which could be detrimental. To illustrate, while travelling many people use their mobile phones to watch movies and loosely hold their phones. The thieves may take advantage of this opportunity and snatch the phone from the person. On the other hand, most people opine that the best way to enjoy a movie is in a theater. When you are in an enclosed cinema hall, your attention is completely on the screen therefore, it is more likely that you can enjoy the movie better. Many movie theatres now offer better sound and video quality which can enhance customer viewing experience. However, the exorbitant ticket prices and the travel time are the major drawbacks of theatres. To sum it up, in my opinion, movies are made for recreational purpose and should be enjoyed as per people’s convenience. People should avoid watching movies while travelling and enjoy it at home or in theatres.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
the convenience of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on their mobiles
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
or tablets
rather
than a going out to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theatre
.
However
, there are others who prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theatre
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
presenting my view, I intend to discuss both sides of the argument.

Firstly
, there are numerous advantage of watching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
on one’s device like convenience, the person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
while travelling or at their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. It
also
cost and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
saving, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay expensive ticket prices and save on commute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
However
, it is likely that the person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
too engrossed in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
and wouldn’t be aware of his surroundings which could be detrimental. To illustrate, while travelling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
loosely
hold their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. The thieves may take advantage of this opportunity and snatch the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
from the person.

On the other hand
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that the best way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
is in a theater. When you are in an enclosed cinema hall, your attention is completely on the screen
therefore
, it is more likely that you can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
better.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
theatres
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
offer better sound and video quality which can enhance customer viewing experience.
However
, the exorbitant ticket prices and the travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
are the major drawbacks of theatres.

To sum it up, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
are made
for recreational purpose and should
be enjoyed
as per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
convenience.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should avoid watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
while travelling and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
it at home or in theatres.
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IELTS essay Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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