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Some people say that now we can see films of our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people say that now we can see films of our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. v. 1
We are in a world where technology is growing rapidly. Here some portion of individuals says that there is no need to watch movies in theatres, Instead of going to the film theatre we can see those in our own gadgets like phones, tablets and etc. But as far as my knowledge is concerned, we should watch movies in cinema malls only. The reasons I will be discussing it in the following paragraphs. There are two ways of watching movies in the cinema hall. One is going all the way to the theatre and watching the film with our family members or with the friends and the second way of watching is in the mobiles or any other sources like the internet. When we watch some movies like horror and action in our mobiles there won’t be any sound experience and effects which we experience in theatre. However, if the people watch movies in the theatres they will come across the lively experience of sounding system and also visuals on the big screen. It is very exciting to have such real experiences in the closed environment. My opinion is that we should watch movies in the theatre only because it’s an entertainment world where some individuals will get food by making movies if we see that in our devices they will have no source to earn. To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that there is a biased situation. For well being of some skilled professionals, we should encourage people to go to the theatres to watch movies.
We are in a world where technology is growing
rapidly
. Here
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
portion of individuals says that there is no need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
,
Instead
of going to the film
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
those in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
gadgets like phones, tablets
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
as far as my knowledge
is concerned
, we should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in cinema malls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. The reasons I will be discussing it in the following paragraphs.

There are two ways of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in the cinema hall. One is going all the way to the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
and watching the film with our family members or with the friends and the second way of watching is in the mobiles or any other sources like the internet. When we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
like horror and action in our mobiles there won’t be any sound
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and effects which we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
.

However
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across the lively
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
of sounding system and
also
visuals on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
screen. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
exciting to have such real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
in the closed environment. My opinion is that we should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it’s an entertainment world where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
food by making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that in our devices they will have no source to earn.

To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that there is a biased situation. For
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
skilled professionals, we should encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to go to the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that now we can see films of our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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