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Some people say that excessive noise should be a criminal offence, while others say they should be free to make noise without limitation. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people say that excessive noise should be a criminal offence, while others say they should be free to make noise without limitation. v. 1
The course of human civilization has had a devastating effect on the environment. Now we are facing problems such as – melting of glaciers, depletion of the ozone layer and Climate change to name a few. Environmentalists have been warning the governments and the general public over many years now but with no effect. People still have no regard for the indiscriminate use of coal derived fuels and wastage of water. This could be due to the lack of economical alternatives in the market or a feeling of apathy due to the extremeness of present lifestyle. However, we must encourage people to take part in the preservation of the environment by introducing safe, effective and economical alternatives and by government regulation. On the first hand, many citizens are aware of the environmental concerns from the exhaust from industries and vehicles. The dependence of today’s life on coal based fuels is extreme and has been developed over the past centuries. It will be time consuming and expensive to make a system change. Though many environmentally safe alternatives exists they are out of the reach of the common man. For example, battery operated cars are expensive and the networks of charging stations are still developing, whereas petrol and diesel filling stations with facilities are easily available. On the other hand, people can be encouraged to conserve energy by making the alternatives more accessible to all sections of society. Governments must support by companies developing environmentally safe products and technology by offering incentives. For instance, consumers today are busy and stressed and do not have time to spend seeking out for new products and methods of saving energy. In conclusion, we must become more environmentally sound society so that our children will be able to inherit an inhabitable earth. This is our responsibility as parents and caregivers. It is unfortunate that we have neglected this for convenience and greed. Therefore action must be taken to correct this environmental degradation.
The course of human civilization has had a devastating effect on the environment.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
we are facing problems such as
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
melting of glaciers, depletion of the ozone layer and Climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to name a few. Environmentalists have been warning the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and the
Consider using "public".
general public
over
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with no effect.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
still
have no regard for the indiscriminate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of coal derived fuels and wastage of water. This could be due to the lack of economical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternatives
in the market or a feeling of apathy due to the extremeness of present lifestyle.
However
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in the preservation of the environment by introducing safe, effective and economical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternatives
and by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
regulation.

On the
first
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
citizens are aware of the environmental concerns from the exhaust from industries and vehicles. The dependence of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s life on coal based fuels is extreme and has
been developed
over the past centuries. It will be
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
and expensive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a system
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
“Though” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
environmentally
safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternatives
exists they are out of the reach of the common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
.
For example
, battery operated cars are expensive and the networks of charging stations are
still
developing, whereas petrol and diesel filling stations with facilities are
easily
available.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
be encouraged
to conserve energy by making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternatives
more accessible to all sections of society.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
support by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
developing
environmentally
safe products and technology by offering incentives.
For instance
, consumers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are busy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and do not have time to spend seeking out for new products and methods of saving energy.

In conclusion
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
become more
environmentally
sound society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that our children will be able to inherit an inhabitable earth. This is our responsibility as parents and caregivers. It is unfortunate that we have neglected this for convenience and greed.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
action
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
to correct this environmental degradation.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that excessive noise should be a criminal offence, while others say they should be free to make noise without limitation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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