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some people say that modern innovations bring a lot more problems than benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree v.7

some people say that modern innovations bring a lot more problems than benefits. v. 7
Numerous people opine that the repercussions carried on by contemporary rejuvenations outweigh the merits. Thus, this essay will depict both my approbation to this topic, along with my personal opinion. First of all, more efficient activities exist in society. In other words, the modern contrivances exclusively online-transportations, establish an increment of efficiency in either time or cost. For instance, due to the availability of Grab and Gojek, the customer could straightforwardly access some areas at a more reasonable price, and they do not have to seek for chauffeurs as the applicator has automatically dealt with both drivers and passengers concomitantly. Furthermore, there are many worthwhile applications such as Whatsapp and Line, which could supersede the role of conventional cellphones more efficaciously, whereas they bestow an interminable connection worldwide freely. Hence, a number of momentous events could simply be conducted online. Moreover, it is not obligatory for denizens to attend to office in order to make money. In this sophisticated era, various appliances have been synthesized whereas seller can generate their trade at home that is devoid of concrete companies. Additionally, the immense outgrowth of providers that transmit goods among certain areas is also lucrative for online traders intending to disseminate their commodities extensively. To summarize, although modern novelties brings many demerits such as addiction and consumerism’s demeanor, I personally believe that the intensity of importance of new inventions is contingent on how the utilizer behave to them. Therefore, in order to attain beneficial aftermath, we should harness them appositely. Otherwise, if we harness specific innovations inaccurately, it will only induce undesirable consequences to ourselves.
Numerous
people
opine that the repercussions carried on by contemporary
rejuvenations
outweigh the merits.
Thus
, this essay will depict both my approbation to this topic, along with my personal opinion.

First of all
, more efficient activities exist in society.
In other words
, the modern contrivances exclusively online-transportations, establish an increment of efficiency in either time or cost.
For instance
, due to the availability of Grab and
Gojek
, the customer could
straightforwardly
access
some
areas at a more reasonable price, and they do not
have to
seek for chauffeurs as the applicator has
automatically
dealt with both drivers and passengers
concomitantly
.
Furthermore
, there are
many
worthwhile applications such as
Whatsapp
and Line, which could supersede the role of conventional cellphones more
efficaciously
, whereas they bestow an interminable connection worldwide
freely
.
Hence
, a number of momentous
events
could
simply
be conducted
online.

Moreover
, it is not obligatory for denizens to attend to office in order to
make
money. In this sophisticated era, various appliances have
been synthesized
whereas seller can generate their trade at home
that is
devoid of concrete
companies
.
Additionally
, the immense outgrowth of providers that transmit
goods
among certain areas is
also
lucrative for online traders intending to disseminate their commodities
extensively
.

To summarize
, although modern novelties brings
many
demerits such as addiction and consumerism’s demeanor, I
personally
believe that the intensity of importance of new inventions is contingent on how the utilizer behave to them.
Therefore
, in order to attain beneficial aftermath, we should harness them
appositely
.
Otherwise
, if we harness specific innovations
inaccurately
, it will
only
induce undesirable consequences to ourselves.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay some people say that modern innovations bring a lot more problems than benefits. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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