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Some people say that modern innovations bring a lot more problems than benefits? Do you agree or disagree? v.12

Some people say that modern innovations bring a lot more problems than benefits? v. 12
The entire world has been revolutionized due to the advancement in the technology. However, some people perceive that this automation affected a person’s life which gives the largest amount of an unfavourable impact of the individual's life and the environment than the positive points. The essay will discuss my stance followed by the supporting paragraphs. To begin with, the foremost negative point is that with the innovation in the computers many tasks has been completed in a single click. This will be resulted in person has to do less physical activity to perform some work. For example, with the benefit of the Internet it would be easy to buy kitchen stuff in a single click whereas in the past, a person had to went to the market and they buy their groceries. Moreover, by continuing this type of lifestyle affects a person’s physical health which would be converted in the obesity and as time pasts this would be converted in more decease such as diabetes, heart problems. Thus, this electronic device has made a person’s life easier and converted them in a lazy person. Furthermore, the technology having a diverse impact on the many parts of the manufacturing units as they started to use robots, that is used to control the machine. As a result, this trade requires a less amount of human power which would be resulted in the unemployment in the nation. For instance, Research conducted shows that by the end of the 21st century, thirty percent people become an unemployed as having latest machinery are available in the many production units. At last, the utilization of the electronic gadgets has been elaborated rapidly. This will emit a certain gas, which makes environment polluted. Although, the people prefer to practice such appliances which completes our work with less effort and time. In conclusion, the modernized world has served the society in a better way as every task would be completed not only in less time but also in less effort and gives a better output. But it gives more detrimental effect as per my opinion, on the health, employment and an environment also. The government should have to start campaigning which delivers the information.
The entire world has
been revolutionized
due to the advancement in the technology.
However
,
some
people
perceive that this automation
affected
a
person’s
life which gives the largest amount of an
unfavourable
impact of the individual's life and the environment than the
positive
points. The essay will discuss my stance followed by the supporting paragraphs.

To
begin
with, the foremost
negative
point is that with the innovation in the computers
many
tasks has
been completed
in a single click. This will
be resulted
in
person
has to
do
less
physical activity to perform
some
work.
For example
, with the benefit of the Internet it would be easy to
buy
kitchen stuff in a single click whereas in the past, a
person
had to went to the
market and
they
buy
their groceries.
Moreover
, by continuing this type of lifestyle affects a
person’s
physical health which would
be converted
in the obesity and as time pasts this would
be converted
in more decease such as diabetes, heart problems.
Thus
, this electronic device has made a
person’s
life easier and converted them in a lazy person.

Furthermore
, the technology having a diverse impact on the
many
parts of the manufacturing units as they
started
to
use
robots,
that is
used
to control the machine.
As a result
, this trade requires a
less
amount of human power which would
be resulted
in the unemployment in the nation.
For instance
, Research conducted
shows
that by the
end
of the 21st century, thirty percent
people
become an unemployed as having
latest
machinery are available in the
many
production units. At last, the utilization of the electronic gadgets has
been elaborated
rapidly
. This will emit a certain gas, which
makes
environment polluted. Although, the
people
prefer to practice such appliances which completes our work with
less
effort and time.

In conclusion
, the modernized world has served the society in a better way as every task would
be completed
not
only
in
less
time
but
also
in
less
effort and gives a better output.
But
it gives more detrimental effect as per my opinion, on the health, employment and an environment
also
. The
government
should
have to
start
campaigning which delivers the information.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that modern innovations bring a lot more problems than benefits? v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
366 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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