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Some people say that mobile phones have made communication easier and more convenient. Other people say that mobile phones have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v.1

Some people say that mobile phones have made communication easier and more convenient. Other people say that mobile phones have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 1
It is a debatable issue of these days, a few numbers of people are of the opinion that mobile phones are useful for getting in touch, whereas others hold an opposite opinion. I believe that mobile phones have made life easier in many ways. This essay will highlight the reasons to support my view. To begin with, some people argue that using mobile phones create many problems for human being which are worthed to consider. Firstly, people can easily be distracted. For example, a recent survey by the ministry of transportation found that more than 46% of car accidents during the past five years have been made by the drivers who used cell phones while driving. Secondly, scientists think that the radiation used in mobile phones can affect our health. For instance, a study by the university of Michigan proved that villagers are less likely to have brain related diseases than people living in urban areas. On the other hand, others think that this almost new technology device has many benefits for everyone. In the first place, people can easily get in touch by making a phone call, instead of travelling to meet each other. This saves energy and time. In addition, a person at work, could use his or her mobile phone to view his home, in order to make sure everything is good, without having to travel to home. For example, my neighbour whose mom has had dementia for the past four years, had to hire a nurse to take care of her mom while she is at work. Therefore, to make assured that her mom was in safe hands, she arranged her house to be equipped by security cameras. As a result, she can use her device when connected to internet to watch her lovely mom at home. Last but not least, people use their cell phones to arrange important meetings or appointments and this leads them to have a more successful business. In conclusion, even though mobile phones have some disadvantages, I think they have many benefits for our daily life and improve life quality.
It is a debatable issue of these days, a few numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the opinion that mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are useful for getting in touch, whereas others hold an opposite opinion. I believe that mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
have made life easier in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. This essay will highlight the reasons to support my view.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that using mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems for human being which are
Possible spelling mistake found.
worthed
to consider.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
be distracted
.
For example
, a recent survey by the ministry of transportation found that more than 46% of car accidents during the past five years have
been made
by the drivers who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
while driving.
Secondly
, scientists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the radiation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
can affect our health.
For instance
, a study by the
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
university of Michigan
proved that villagers are less likely to have brain related diseases than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in urban areas.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this almost new technology device has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for everyone. In the
first
place,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in touch by making a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
call,
instead
of travelling to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. This saves energy and time.
In addition
, a person at work, could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
to view his home, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure everything is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, without having to travel to home.
For example
, my
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mom
has had dementia for the past four years, had to hire a nurse to take care of her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mom
while she is at work.
Therefore
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
assured that her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mom
was in safe hands, she arranged her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
to
be equipped
by security cameras.
As a result
, she can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
her device when connected to internet to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
her lovely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mom
at home. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
to arrange
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
meetings or appointments and this leads them to have a more successful business.

In conclusion
,
even though
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for our daily life and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
life quality.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that mobile phones have made communication easier and more convenient. Other people say that mobile phones have made life more complex and stressful. What is your opinion? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
349 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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