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some people say that jfjghbjbkjgfjyfb bnvhghnvhjgfuygmn nmgjv b bvjh, vmhn v.1

some people say that jfjghbjbkjgfjyfb bnvhghnvhjgfuygmn nmgjv b bvjh, vmhn v. 1
Globalisation presented us with the opportunity to work or travel to any part of the world. However, it is the opinion of a few people that it is the only reason to learn a foreign language. On the other hand, others disagree their views on this and argue that there is more to learning. Though it is a controversial topic, I personally side with the latter. Travelling to various corners of the world and to get a job in a foreign nation are two very compelling reasons for a person to learn other languages beside their own. For example, I have a friend who works as a clerk in a bank in a nearby village. He never travels and most certainly doesn't need to learn a new language for his work. What I'm trying to say here is, most people don't bother learning a dialect that is alien to them unless, absolutely required. Conversely, there are others who believe that acquiring something new should not be simply limited to a couple of reasons. Learning in itself should be rewarding enough and of course it helps in better understanding of people. For example, a colleague in my friend's office studied German during his teenage years. Recently, when upper management sent a German official, he was assigned to him and got promoted. The point here is he learned it for fun, but it helped him in his career. In conclusion, my opinion on this issue is that, learning a foreign language should not be limited to just two reasons like job and travel. Learning something new must be exciting and fun. A particular quote comes to mind while writing this essay, , "It is better to have and not need than need and not have. "
Possible spelling mistake. 'Globalisation' is British English.
Globalisation
presented us with the opportunity to work or travel to any part of the world.
However
, it is the opinion of a few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
to learn a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, others disagree their views on this and argue that there is more to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
. Though it is a controversial topic, I
personally
side with the latter.

Travelling to various corners of the world and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job in a foreign nation are two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
compelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for a person to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
beside their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
For example
, I have a friend who works as a clerk in a bank in a nearby village. He never travels and most
certainly
doesn't need to learn a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
for his work. What I'm trying to say here is, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
don't bother
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a dialect
that is
alien to them unless,
absolutely
required.

Conversely
, there are others who believe that acquiring something new should not be
simply
limited to a couple of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Learning
in itself should be rewarding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and
of course
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in better understanding of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For example
, a colleague in my friend's office studied German during his teenage years. Recently, when upper management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
a German official, he
was assigned
to him and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
promoted. The point here is he learned it for fun,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
him in his career.

In conclusion
, my opinion on this issue is that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
should not
be limited
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
like job and travel.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Learning
something new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be exciting and fun. A particular quote
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to mind while writing this essay,
Two consecutive commas
,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
It is better to have and not need than need and not have.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay some people say that jfjghbjbkjgfjyfb bnvhghnvhjgfuygmn nmgjv b bvjh, vmhn v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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