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Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v.25

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 25
Globalization has bolstered the trend of teaching children multiple languages, the idea of teaching children a foreign language in primary school, as compared to teaching it in secondary school have always locked horns. I would delineate, how the former idea has more benefits than the latter, with the help of the examples and a study from Oxford University. To begin with, children in early age, can learn much faster than when they grow up. A study from Oxford university showed that children below the age 10, picks up new language almost 3 times as faster than children above 10. Concurrently, in this modern era, people keep moving to multiple countries for various reasons and learning a foreign language can be beneficial in such scenarios. Also, it enables the children to communicate and understand other children from various cultures and communities. Thus, from the above points we can see that learning a foreign language in primary school would be easier and beneficial. But on the other hand, learning a foreign language in primary school also has some cons. For instance, at early ages, some children are struggling to learn simple terms and introducing a foreign language in the mix, could add up to their struggle. Also few children at their early ages may have mental challenges such as dyslexia, which takes them more time for them to learn new things initially, but it can be addressed by the time they reach secondary school. Although we can see evident challenges in learning a foreign language during primary school, it can be addressed with meticulous guidance and attention. In conclusion, I would like to say, the disadvantages of learning a new language in primary school, can be resolved with proper individual training and attention, in turn enabling the advantages to outgrow and helping the children grow in the multilingual world.
Globalization has bolstered the trend of teaching
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children
multiple
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languages
, the
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idea
of teaching
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children
a
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foreign
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language
in
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primary
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school
, as compared to teaching it in secondary
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school
have always locked horns. I would delineate, how the former
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
has more benefits than the latter, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the examples and a study from Oxford University.

To
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begin
with,
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children
in early
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age
, can learn much faster than when they grow up. A study from Oxford university
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showed
that
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children
below the
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age
10, picks up new
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language
almost 3 times as faster than
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children
above 10.
Concurrently
, in this modern era,
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
moving to multiple countries for various reasons and
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learning
a
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foreign
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language
can be beneficial in such scenarios.
Also
, it enables the
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children
to communicate and understand other
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children
from various cultures and communities.
Thus
, from the above points we can
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see
that
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learning
a
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foreign
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language
in
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primary
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school
would be easier and beneficial.

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But
on the other hand
,
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learning
a
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foreign
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language
in
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primary
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school
also
has
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some
cons.
For instance
, at early
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ages
,
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some
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children
are struggling to learn simple terms and introducing a
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foreign
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language
in the mix, could
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add
up to their struggle.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
few
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children
at their early
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ages
may have mental challenges such as dyslexia, which takes them more time for them to learn new things
initially
,
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but
it can
be addressed
by the time they reach secondary
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school
. Although we can
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see
evident challenges in
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learning
a
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foreign
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language
during
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primary
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school
, it can
be addressed
with meticulous guidance and attention.

In conclusion
, I would like to say, the disadvantages of
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learning
a new
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language
in
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primary
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school
, can
be resolved
with proper individual training and attention, in turn enabling the advantages to outgrow and helping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
grow in the multilingual world.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 25

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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