Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The Internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. Although some of these changes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive. What are your opinions on this? v.9

The Internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. Although some of these changes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive. What are your opinions on this? v. 9
The internet has brought significant changes to our lives in recent years. Yet, there remains some disagreement as to whether the overall effect of this technology has been positive or negative, while there are certainly valid arguments to the contrary. I personally believe that the benefits of the internet far out weight its drawbacks. These benefits are twofold. First of all, it is an indisputable fact that the internet has revolutionized the way we communicate. Despite the risk of social isolation- a problem occasionally seen in people who spend too much time at their computer terminal rather than relating to people in the real world- most of us have benefited greatly from e-mail and internet chat programs like MSN messenger. These incredibly useful and powerful tools of communication facilitate both contacts with loved ones in faraway places and global trade. Equally importantly, though, the internet has placed the entire word (and all of the information in it at our fingertips. In earlier times, conducting research entailed long hours searching library shelves. Now, however, the same information can be accessed at the click of a button. Admittedly, not all of the information available on the internet is reliable or helpful- there is a vast amount of material online that some would consider offensive or dangerous, ranging from pornography to instructions on how to make bombs. Nonetheless, I would contend that this free flow of information has generally been a very positive impact on modern life because of its influence on communication and the flow of information. By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that the internet has had a positive impact on modern life because of its influence on communication and the flow of information.
The internet has brought significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in recent years.
Yet
, there remains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disagreement
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
the
overall
effect of this technology has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
, while there are
certainly
valid arguments to the contrary. I
personally
believe that the benefits of the internet far out weight its drawbacks. These benefits are twofold.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is an indisputable fact that the internet has revolutionized the way we communicate. Despite the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of social isolation- a problem
occasionally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who spend too much time at their computer terminal
rather
than relating to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the real world- most of us have benefited
greatly
from e-mail and internet chat programs like MSN messenger. These
incredibly
useful and powerful tools of communication facilitate both contacts with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones in faraway places and global trade.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Equally
importantly
, though, the internet has placed the entire word
Unpaired symbol: ')' seems to be missing
(
and
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in it at our fingertips. In earlier times, conducting research entailed long hours searching library shelves.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
,
however
, the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
can
be accessed
at the click of a button.

Admittedly
, not
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
available on the internet is reliable or helpful- there is a vast amount of material online that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
would consider offensive or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
, ranging from pornography to instructions on how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
bombs. Nonetheless, I would contend that this free flow of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
has
generally
been a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on modern life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its influence on communication and the flow of information.

By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that the internet has had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on modern life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its influence on communication and the flow of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay The Internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. Although some of these changes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive. What are your opinions on this? v. 9

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
287 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts