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Some people say that it is a waste of time to plan for the future and that it is more important to focus on the present. To what extend do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people say that it is a waste of time to plan for the future and that it is more important to focus on the present. v. 1
There are some debates about whether people should plan for the future or focus on the presents. In my opinion, while I agree that pay attention to the present is crucial, I disagree that planning for the future is a waste of time. On the one hand, presents play an important role in human life. Firstly, people can only control the moments in presents. For example, opportunities always come without notice, so people can only catch the chance if they know how to deal with it. Hence, people could become successful if they can handle the problem in the present. Secondly, each moment in presents is inestimated such as the time that people stay with their family, the time they hang out with friends. All of that time happened in presents and how much they laugh, happy is priceless. As a result, present is essential that people need to focus on. On the other hand, planning for the future is worth. Firstly, making plans for the future helps people understand their purpose in life. When people plan for their own future, they will be motivated to make their dreams come true. As a result, people will have a goal to reach and they will always try to achieve their success. Secondly, planning for the future allows people to get closer to their goals. For example, a man wants to save money to buy a new car, he has to think about how much money he has to save each month and how long will he buy it. As a result, after a long time, he is able to buy a new car, which he could not do without planning, a man will never save enough money for his purpose. To sum up, while people pay more attention to the present, I believe that they should spent time to plan for the future.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
debates about whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
or focus on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presents
. In my opinion, while I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that pay attention to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
is crucial, I disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
is a waste of time.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presents
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in human life.
Firstly
,
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people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
control the moments in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presents
.
For example
, opportunities always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
without notice,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
catch the chance if they know how to deal with it.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could become successful if they can handle the problem in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
.
Secondly
, each moment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presents
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
inestimated
such as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stay with their family, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they hang out with friends. All of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
happened in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presents
and how much they laugh, happy is priceless.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
is essential that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to focus on.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
is worth.
Firstly
, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plans
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
understand their purpose in life. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
, they will
be motivated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their dreams
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
true.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have a goal to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
reach and
they will always try to achieve their success.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
closer to their goals.
For example
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
wants to save money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a new car, he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about how much money he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
save each month and how long will he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it.
As a result
, after a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, he is able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a new car, which he could not do without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
will never save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money for his purpose.

To sum up, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pay more attention to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
, I believe that they should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "spend"
spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that it is a waste of time to plan for the future and that it is more important to focus on the present. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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