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Some people say it is a waste of time to plan for the future and that it is more important to focus on present. To what extend do you agree or disagree. v.1

Some people say it is a waste of time to plan for the future and that it is more important to focus on present. v. 1
While many people believe that the time spends on planning for future is unnecessary and to be concentrating on the present is more crucial, I argue that the paths we created for our future assets what makes our present days meaningful. In this essay, I will explain why I disagree with this notion. Firstly, individuals usually set goals to bring contentment in their life and they are focusing in their current moment to achieve them. Although obscurity causes major stress and negative thinking, having a target will help people to find meaning in their lives. For instance, senior high school students, which not decided on their career will struggle when making application to the colleges. This is because it will be too late when they realize the department they want to apply are way higher than their notes. Therefore, future planning should be taken to the account to be aware of opportunities, which otherwise people have missed. Furthermore, living in the moment may cause failure in every area of life and not always financially, socially too. In other words, relationships are improving by effort and to make things move further, like having a family, children, etc. Not worrying about what is next is won’t be enough. For instance, parents are just one of the people can’t have this living in the moment motto in their life. Even for providing an average life for their child, they need to consider their incomes and outcomes carefully and hence usually they have to make savings. In conclusion, despite the freedom that provides by living in the current moment, people should pay attention their future plans to live a comfortable life because time is running fast and future is not that far away.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the time spends on planning for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
is unnecessary and to be concentrating on the present is more crucial, I argue that the paths we created for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
assets what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
our present days meaningful. In this essay, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I disagree with this notion.

Firstly
, individuals
usually
set goals to bring contentment in their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they are focusing in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moment
to achieve them. Although obscurity causes major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
thinking, having a target will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to find meaning in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For instance
, senior high school students, which not decided on their career will struggle when making application to the colleges. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will be too late when they realize the department they want to apply are way higher than their notes.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
planning should
be taken
to the account to be aware of opportunities, which
otherwise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have missed.

Furthermore
, living in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moment
may cause failure in every area of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and not always
financially
,
socially
too.
In other words
, relationships are improving by effort and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
further
, like having a family, children, etc. Not worrying about what is
next
is won
’t be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.
For instance
, parents are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can’t have this living in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moment
motto in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Even for providing an average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for their child, they need to consider their incomes and outcomes
carefully
and
hence
usually
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
savings.

In conclusion
, despite the freedom that provides by living in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moment
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should pay attention their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
plans to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a comfortable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
time is running
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
is not that far away.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say it is a waste of time to plan for the future and that it is more important to focus on present. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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