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Many people say that globalisation and the growing number of multinational companies have a negative effect on the environment. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.4

Many people say that globalisation and the growing number of multinational companies have a negative effect on the environment. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 4
Mixed opinions exist among people in relation to how globalization influences the economies of the world. With this trend, an increasing number of multinational companies have been established for the prosperity of their businesses. As a result, some people argue that they have destroyed the environment relating to them. In my view, I argue with this argument; whereas, some companies have also dedicated themselves to corporate social responsibility. To begin with, the growing industrialization indeed deeply influences nature. In order to pursue lower operational expenses, some companies set up subsidiary companies and factories overseas, which boosted the construction of infrastructure and housing in the local community. Nevertheless, it was factories usually release toxic gases and polluted water into the air and surrounding river. Furthermore, cities have formed center on these factories, which leads to an increase of autos with more exhaust gases. All the elements aforementioned have a detrimental effect on the environment. On the other hand, nowadays, more companies are aware of their responsibility towards society. For instance, a factory manufactured mobile phones in Taiwan advocated lowering carbon footprint, reducing the frequency of air-conditioning, decreasing the usage of paper, and forming a paperless office. They have to take these measures for years, and not only have they succeed, but also brought a positive influence towards other companies. By way of conclusion, while some multinational companies do harm to the local environment only for the benefits of themselves, other companies still contribute themselves to improving the environment and lowering the destruction they have caused.
Mixed opinions exist among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in relation to how globalization influences the economies of the world. With this trend, an increasing number of multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have
been established
for the prosperity of their businesses.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
the environment relating to them. In my view, I argue with this argument; whereas,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have
also
dedicated themselves to corporate social responsibility.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the growing industrialization
indeed
deeply
influences nature. In order to pursue lower operational expenses,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
set up subsidiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
overseas, which boosted the construction of infrastructure and housing in the local community.
Nevertheless
, it was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
usually
release toxic gases and polluted water into the air and surrounding river.
Furthermore
, cities have formed center on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
, which leads to an increase of autos with more exhaust gases. All the elements aforementioned have a detrimental effect on the environment.

On the other hand
, nowadays, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are aware of their responsibility towards society.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factory
manufactured mobile phones in Taiwan advocated lowering carbon footprint, reducing the frequency of air-conditioning, decreasing the usage of paper, and forming a paperless office. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take these measures for years, and not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have they succeed,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
brought a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influence towards other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

By way of conclusion, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
do harm to the local environment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the benefits of themselves, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
still
contribute themselves to improving the environment and lowering the destruction they have caused.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
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IELTS essay Many people say that globalisation and the growing number of multinational companies have a negative effect on the environment. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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