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Some people say that instead of seeing the Internet as a way of opening up new communication possibilities v.2

Some people say that instead of seeing the Internet as a way of opening up new communication possibilities v. 2
According to a recent study, the more time people use the Internet, the less time they spend with real human beings. Some people say that instead of seeing the Internet as a way of opening up new communication possibilities worldwide, we should be concerned about the effect this is having on social interaction. How far do you agree with this opinion? . As per not past research, citizens spending extensive time on the internet, the time spending with humans is less. Few men and women thought that instead of using the Internet as a path of opening up new interaction possibilities around the world, we should be focused on the impact this is having on social interaction. I partially agree with this assertion, although extreme usage of the Internet creates eye and nerve issues, it helps humans to interact with their relatives and friends who are staying in another country. On the one hand, excessive usage of the Internet causes health issues such as eyesight and nerve diseases. The new mobile phones are available in the market at affordable price tag further more internet charges are become cheap which encouraging citizens to use the Internet excessively. As a result, it is impacting on young generation brain, their thoughts are unpredictable. For instance, a young boy used a mobile phone for a long period of time to play the most famous game ' PUBG' over the internet after a few days he hands were frozen due to nerves problem. On the other hand, the Internet helps most of the human begins to interact with their co-workers and family members without any struggle. By sitting at home we can use Skype to have a video call with anyone around the globe. In addition, the Internet creating more jobs in the job market few among them are food delivery and online marketing. For example, Zomato a food delivery company creating extensive jobs in the market to deliver the food any time using the internet in India. It is helping many of the young generation to support their family. In conclusion, extreme usage of the Internet creating health issues on citizens however it is helping many of the people around the globe to have an interaction. I agree partially with Internet impacts on humans even though we cannot decline the benefits from it.
According to a recent study, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the Internet, the less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they spend with real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that
instead
of seeing the Internet as a way of opening up new communication possibilities worldwide, we should
be concerned
about the effect this is having on social interaction.

How far do you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion?
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


As per not past research, citizens spending extensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the internet, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spending with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
is less. Few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
instead
of using the Internet as a path of opening up new interaction possibilities around the world, we should
be focused
on the impact this is having on social interaction. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this assertion, although extreme usage of the Internet creates eye and nerve issues, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
to interact with their relatives and friends who are staying in another country.

On the one hand, excessive usage of the Internet causes health issues such as eyesight and nerve diseases. The new mobile phones are available in the market at affordable price tag
further
more internet charges
are become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
which encouraging citizens to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the Internet
excessively
.
As a result
, it is impacting on young generation brain, their thoughts are unpredictable.
For instance
, a young boy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
a mobile phone for a long period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to play the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
game '
Possible spelling mistake found.
PUBG&
#039; over the internet after a few days he hands
were frozen
due to nerves problem.

On the other hand
, the Internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
to interact with their co-workers and family members without any struggle. By sitting at home we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Skype to have a video call with anyone around the globe.
In addition
, the Internet creating more jobs in the job market few among them are food delivery and online marketing.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Zomato
a food delivery
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
creating extensive jobs in the market to deliver the food any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
using the internet in India. It is helping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the young generation to support their family.

In conclusion
, extreme usage of the Internet creating health issues on citizens
however
it is helping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the globe to have an interaction. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
partially
with Internet impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
even though
we cannot decline the benefits from it.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that instead of seeing the Internet as a way of opening up new communication possibilities v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
389 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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