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some people think that parents should teach childrean hoe to be good members of society. others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.2

some people think that parents should teach childrean hoe to be good members of society. others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 2
Teaching children to be a good person in the society is an important issue to make the future better. While some believe that parents are responsible to do that, others insist of the role of schools in this topic. In my idea parents have the main role in forming children’s character compare to schools. Parents have a significant impact on their children. Since family is the first society that everyone experience in their life, many of the habbits and social educations are catched in this level, especially in the first decade of living that main aspects of character are formed. Moreover, children would be more impressed by their parents because of the strong bond between them. It is said that children would become what their parents are more than what they are asked to be. It means that children learn directly and considerably from their parents about acts, thoughts and behavior. So, by considering the crucial role that parents can play to form the character of children, they can teach their children how to be a useful and good member of society. Of course ignoring effects of other parts of society is not possible. However, parents and family are the main teachers for every child, schools have an important role. Since school is the second society that children are a part of, can teach students too many. The effects of schools will be more considerable by focusing on two following points. As a student, children spend a great deal of time in their schools. In addition they have an effective company with their classmates. These two points can make the school’s role is really crucialto form children’s behavior. Children are impressed by their peer in schools, because they are in a same age and fore at least 5 hours per a day, they are together and can effect on eachother. To sum up, both schools and parents have the responsibility to care about teaching children, but, parent’s role is more significant.
Teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
person in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the future better. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are responsible to do that, others insist of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in this topic. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in forming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
character compare to schools.

Parents have a significant impact on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Since family is the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
that everyone experience in their life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
habbits
and social educations are
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "caught", the past tense form of the verb 'catch'?
catched
in this level,
especially
in the
first
decade of living that main aspects of character
are formed
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would be more impressed by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the strong bond between them. It
is said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would become what their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are more than what they
are asked
to be. It means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn
directly
and
considerably
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
about acts, thoughts and behavior.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, by considering the crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can play to form the character of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, they can teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to be a useful and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
member of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Of course
ignoring effects of other parts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is not possible.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and family are the main teachers for every child,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are a part of, can teach students too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
. The effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
will be more considerable by focusing on two following points. As a student,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend a great deal of time in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. In
The comma is probably missing here: "addition, they".
addition they
have an effective
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
with their classmates. These two points can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
is
really
Possible spelling mistake found.
crucialto
form
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
behavior.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are impressed
by their peer in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are in a same age and fore at least 5 hours per a day, they are together and can effect on
Possible spelling mistake found.
eachother
.

To sum up, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have the responsibility to care about teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
is more significant.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay some people think that parents should teach childrean hoe to be good members of society. others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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