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According to a recent study, the more time people use the Internet, the less time they spend with real human beings. Some people say that instead of seeing the Internet as a way of opening up new communication possibilities worldwide, we should be concerned about the effect this is having on social interaction. How far do you agree with this opinion? v.3

According to a recent study, the more time people use the Internet, the less time they spend with real human beings. Some people say that instead of seeing the Internet as a way of opening up new communication possibilities worldwide, we should be concerned about the effect this is having on social interaction. How far do you agree with this opinion? v. 3
The issue of people lacking physical interaction with others, due to spending a large amount of time on the internet, has become a matter of discussion for many. I completely agree with this statement. In this essay, I shall analyse key factors behind this trend and outline the possible solutions. To start with, there are numerous predominant reasons why this is a negative development. Firstly, as people are spending less time with their family and friends in the outside world, the emotional bond between such relationships is getting weaker by the day. For example, a recent study published by Stanford University showed that 3 out of 5 people picked socializing virtually over real world interactions. This further proves the point that it is a concerning trend among the society. Secondly, the absence of in-person relations at a young age, could result in weak social skills and social-phobia. Furthermore, in a journal submitted at Oxford University revealed that ever since the rapid growth of the social networking sites, there seems to be an equal decline in the time people spend outside either doing some physical activity or having a conversation with friends. This directly results in not only people having the lower quality of life, but also developing social anxiety. In conclusion, this is a topic that raises many questions in the contemporary life. From the given arguments and examples I am inclined to say that the negative aspects of this situation surpass the positive points. In the future, it will be fruitful to review the reasoning stated above in order to realize improvements in this direction.
The issue of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lacking physical interaction with others, due to spending a large amount of time on the internet, has become a matter of discussion for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement. In this essay, I shall
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
key factors behind this trend and outline the possible solutions.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, there are numerous predominant reasons why this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.
Firstly
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are spending less time with their family and friends in the outside world, the emotional bond between such relationships is getting weaker by the day.
For example
, a recent study published by Stanford University
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 3 out of 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
picked socializing
virtually
over real world interactions. This
further
proves the point that it is a concerning trend among the society.
Secondly
, the absence of in-person relations at a young age, could result in weak social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and social-phobia.

Furthermore
, in a journal submitted at Oxford University revealed that ever since the rapid growth of the social networking sites, there seems to be an equal decline in the time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend outside either doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
physical activity or having a conversation with friends. This
directly
results in not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
having the lower quality of life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
developing social anxiety.

In conclusion
, this is a topic that raises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
questions in the contemporary life. From the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
arguments and examples I
am inclined
to say that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of this situation surpass the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
points. In the future, it will be fruitful to review the reasoning stated above in order to realize improvements in this direction.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay According to a recent study, the more time people use the Internet, the less time they spend with real human beings. Some people say that instead of seeing the Internet as a way of opening up new communication possibilities worldwide, we should be concerned about the effect this is having on social interaction. How far do you agree with this opinion? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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