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According to a recent study, the more time people use the Internet, the less time they spend with real human beings. Some people say that instead of seeing the Internet as a way of opening up new communication possibilities world- wide, we should be conce v.5

According to a recent study, the more time people use the Internet, the less time they spend with real human beings. Some people say that instead of seeing the Internet as a way of opening up new communication possibilities world- wide, we should be conce v. 5
A recent research has revealed that, considerable time is spent on the internet by people, the less time they spend with real human beings. Some believe that instead of perceiving the internet as a way of opening up new communication possibilities worldwide, we should be concerned about the effect is having social interaction. To begin with, we cannot deny that the internet has opened up new communication possibilities world-wide. Nowadays, it possible for global businesses to conduct a rendezvous online. This can be done through video conferencing which only requires a good internet network. As a result, this saves large corporate businesses an exorbitant cost involved purchasing flight tickets for attending such meetings. Furthermore, “whatsapp” has made it possible for friends and families to call and text one another as fast as possible over long distances. Consequently, communication becomes reliable. In addition, it is possible to learn about different cultures by be-Friend people of different norms and values around the globe. Facebook offers such an opportunity. That being pointed out, people learn to appreciate different races. This clarifies the importance of the internet in opening up new communication possibilities. In contrary, the internet does not offer an avenue to develop social interaction skills. For instance people spend much time on social networks indoors. Following such habit, they develop a difficulty in forming relationships with others. This culminates in one not having friends to confide to during times of need like loss of a loved one maybe. Moreover, one may miss out in community building activities as a result of lack of social interaction skills. For example, they may have a fear in approaching people, hence helping out at a neighbor `s funeral may be difficult because of lack of socialization techniques. Consequently, neighbors will do the same in case when you are experiencing a familiar situation. This elucidates the negative impact of the internet towards socialization. In conclusion, it is worth noting that the internet does creates new communication possibilities internationally. Nevertheless, I believe that should it be used equally with social interaction the benefits will be more.
A recent research has revealed that, considerable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is spent
on the internet by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they spend with real human beings.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that
instead
of perceiving the internet as a way of opening up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
possibilities worldwide, we should
be concerned
about the effect is having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
interaction.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, we cannot deny that the internet has opened up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
possibilities world-wide. Nowadays,
It seems that a verb is missing after "it". Please verify.
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possible
for global businesses to conduct a rendezvous online. This can
be done
through video conferencing which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
requires a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
internet network.
As a result
, this saves large corporate businesses an exorbitant cost involved purchasing flight tickets for attending such meetings.
Furthermore
, “
Possible spelling mistake found.
whatsapp
” has made it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possible
for friends and families to call and text one another as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possible
over long distances.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
becomes reliable.

In addition
, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possible
to learn about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures by be-Friend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
norms and values around the globe. Facebook offers such an opportunity. That
being pointed
out,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
learn to appreciate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
races. This clarifies the importance of the internet in opening up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
possibilities.

In contrary, the internet does not offer an avenue to develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
interaction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For instance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks indoors. Following such habit, they develop a difficulty in forming relationships with others. This culminates in one not having friends to confide to during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
of need like loss of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
one maybe.

Moreover
, one may miss out in community building activities
as a result
of lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
interaction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For example
, they may have a fear in approaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
hence
helping out at a neighbor `s funeral may be difficult
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of socialization techniques.
Consequently
, neighbors will do the same in case when you are experiencing a familiar situation. This elucidates the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact of the internet towards socialization.

In conclusion
, it is worth noting that the internet does creates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
possibilities
internationally
.
Nevertheless
, I believe that should it be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
equally
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
interaction the benefits will be more.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay According to a recent study, the more time people use the Internet, the less time they spend with real human beings. Some people say that instead of seeing the Internet as a way of opening up new communication possibilities world- wide, we should be conce v. 5

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
348 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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