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People think that countries should produce foods their population eats and import less food as much as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

People think that countries should produce foods their population eats and import less food as much as possible. v. 2
Producing adequate food in order to import less eats is a controversy for every nation. While some believe that it can be beneficial, the others disagree. In my idea, it is a useful trend and in this essay I will state some reasons for my view. To begin with, decreasing import of cuisines has many positive impacts on economy. Firstly, causing more job opportunities as an effect is considered. As more food should be produced in the country, food related industries would be developed. So, many units including factories and farms are expected to be set up or expanded. The more they grow up, the more job opportunities people will have. Decreasing jobless people is a significant factor for improvement in economy. Moreover, not only can reducing import eats effect on increasing jobs, but also it can help administrations able to prevent prices from rising. Although all expenses that should be paid to produce a food-related good, its aggregate costs would be cheaper than an import one. So, controlling prices will be possible in this occasion. Another reason for my position is that restriction in importation food can be useful for health care scheme. Products which are imported are not accessible to process control. Nor, are there any possibility of different disease. For example, the corn which was imported last year and a kind of dangerous poison was identified in the cargo. so, Many people died because of eating them. However, related administration can check the quality and process of producing a good in the country to make sure about how healthy and safe products are. In conclusion, I totally agree with the idea about producing enough food instead if import them because of many advantages which have been mentioned.
Producing adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
import
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun eats is countable.
less
eats is a controversy for every nation. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that it can be beneficial, the others disagree. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, it is a useful trend and in this essay I will state
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons for my view.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, decreasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
import
of cuisines has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts on economy.
Firstly
, causing more job opportunities as an effect
is considered
. As more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
should
be produced
in the country,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
related industries would
be developed
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
units including factories and farms are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to
be set
up or expanded. The more they grow up, the more job opportunities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will have. Decreasing jobless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
a significant factor for improvement in economy.
Moreover
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
import
eats effect on increasing jobs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
administrations able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
prices from rising. Although all expenses that should
be paid
to produce a food-related
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, its aggregate costs would be cheaper than an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
import
one.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, controlling prices will be possible in this occasion.

Another reason for my position is that restriction in importation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can be useful for health care scheme. Products which
are imported
are not accessible to process control. Nor, are there any possibility of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
disease.
For example
, the corn which
was imported
last year and a kind of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
poison
was identified
in the cargo.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of eating them.
However
, related administration can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the quality and process of producing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in the country to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure about how healthy and safe products are.

In conclusion
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about producing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
instead
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
import
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages which have
been mentioned
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay People think that countries should produce foods their population eats and import less food as much as possible. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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