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Some people say that in our modern age, it is unnecessary to teach children about the skills of handwriting. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.2

Some people say that in our modern age, it is unnecessary to teach children about the skills of handwriting. with this opinion? v. 2
Nowadays, more and more people would rather use their computers or mobile devices for taking notes than write anything by hand. Because of this trend, it is crucial to understand whether it is necessary to stop handwriting lessons in schools. I definitely agree that handwriting classes are outdated and in this essay I would like to express my point of view. First of all, in this technological century any electronic devices can be purchased at an affordable price. The devices can be used as a substitute for paper and the consumer can be sure of the safety of their information. Moreover, a user of such technological benefit can save a lot of money because it will not be necessary to buy any handwriting tools. Buying a digital aid for taking notes makes a positive impact on the environment by merely reducing the number cut trees. Despite the fact that some people argue that handwriting is the fastest way to write down any information, I disagree. A Laptop, and a smartphone are always with me and I can use them for taking notes at any time. I usually keep notes on my laptop during lectures because it is more convenient to edit them or add new information after the class is over. To conclude, although I have been taught handwriting, I believe that the education system can be improved by including technological classes for children and it does not mean that we should completely cancel handwriting lessons. Children should be given a choice in selecting classes that suit them best.
Nowadays, more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would
rather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their computers or mobile devices for taking notes than write anything by hand.
Because of this
trend, it is crucial to understand whether it is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
handwriting
lessons in schools. I definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
handwriting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
are outdated
and in this essay I would like to express my point of view.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, in this technological century any electronic devices can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
at an affordable price. The devices can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a substitute for paper and the consumer can be sure of the safety of their information.
Moreover
, a user of such technological benefit can save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will not be necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
handwriting
tools. Buying a digital aid for taking notes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the environment by
merely
reducing the number
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
trees.

Despite the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
handwriting
is the fastest way to write down any information, I disagree. A
The comma is probably incorrect: "Laptop"
Laptop,
and a smartphone are always with me and I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them for taking notes at any time. I
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
notes on my laptop during lectures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is more convenient to edit them or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
new information after the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
is over.

To conclude
, although I have
been taught
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
handwriting
, I believe that the education system can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
by including technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
for children and it does not mean that we should completely cancel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
handwriting
lessons. Children should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a choice in selecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
that suit them best.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that in our modern age, it is unnecessary to teach children about the skills of handwriting. with this opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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