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Some people say that in all levels of education too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

Some people say that in all levels of education too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. v. 3
Learning history is by far the most decisive factor among students. Some people agree that students should be taught local history than world history. This essay will outline with this statement. This is because, student has to comment past and future events by the help of history, and It will be develop his opinion about world. First of all, it is true that nation's history allows school children to understand the past, and gives an idea at the present time. They can learn important information from their grandfathers, teachers or especially historical places. For example, there is an activity that Turkish school children are taken to Anıtkabir, Çanakkale which are significant for Turkish Nation. What is more, students can better know their ancestors what they did past, and what we should do. As a result, this situation might have had deeply effect on them to adopt his country’s value. On the other hand, studying in world instead of local history might bring numerous bad effects. This information must give students, but they must be limited. When they get knowledge, people can ignore their history, and feel a plenty of admiration another country’s past. To illustrate, any country does not want to teach history of fascism in school. The reason is that they are scared to influence students who like to become a Hitler or Benito Mussolini. In conclusion, I firmly agree that students should spend more time in nation history instead of history of world because that will change your idea where my country position is in the world, and improve judge skills.
Learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is by far the most decisive factor among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
be taught
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. This essay will outline with this statement. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
comment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
and future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, and It will be
Consider using the past participle "developed"?
develop
his opinion about world.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is true that nation's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
school children to understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
, and gives an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
at the present time. They can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
information from their grandfathers, teachers or
especially
historical places.
For example
, there is an activity that Turkish school children
are taken
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Anıtkabir
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Çanakkale
which are significant for Turkish Nation.
What is more
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can better know their ancestors what they did
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
, and what we should do.
As a result
, this situation might have had
deeply
effect on them to adopt his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
value.

On the other hand
, studying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
instead
of local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
might bring numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects. This information
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be limited
. When they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
knowledge,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, and feel a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of admiration another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. To illustrate, any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
does not want to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of fascism in school. The reason is that they
are scared
to influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who like to become a Hitler or Benito Mussolini.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should spend more time in nation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
where my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
position is in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
judge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that in all levels of education too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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