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Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree? v.18

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. v. 18
Some people believe that many educational institutes give more focus on the theoretical knowledge than the practical abilities. In my opinion, I support this point as their work goal is to improve the result and want to deliver only the degrees and to earn money. To begin with, the first and foremost reason is that, many of the institute from primary school to the colleges follows the traditional curriculum, which contain the theory about the subjects. This method of study will be continued for the years as a result, everyone having a degree in their hands, but not having practical skills, which helps them in routine life, even helps to get the job. For example, many of the pass-out students nowadays suffering from the unemployment issue is the result of the study. Thus, if the government continues to run, this institute, then future generation must have to suffer from money issues which leads to the stress. The other reason is that, many of the institute only focuses on the money they were earning, they were not thinking about the pupil’s future and, not think about the next generation they were building; that impact it creates on the society. For instance, Research conducted shows that in recent times education becomes more costly as they were providing modern facilities, but not improving their knowledge delivering ways. Lastly, if children give only focus on the facts which has been written in the books, then one’s physical and mental growth has been suffered; this would create the many problems in later life. In conclusion, many schools were following conventional curriculum, giving focus on the theory which create many problems, such as individual growth has been reduced. The government should start to improve this by giving more focus on practical skills.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
educational institutes give more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
focus
on the theoretical knowledge than the practical abilities. In my opinion, I support this point as their work goal is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the result and want to deliver
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the degrees and to earn money.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
first
and foremost reason is that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the institute from primary school to the colleges follows the traditional curriculum, which contain the theory about the subjects. This method of study will
be continued
for the years
as a result
, everyone having a degree in their hands,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not having practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them in routine life, even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the job.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the pass-out students nowadays suffering from the unemployment issue is the result of the study.
Thus
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
continues to run, this institute, then future generation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suffer from money issues which leads to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

The other reason is that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the institute
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focuses on the money they were earning, they were not thinking about the pupil’s future and, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the
next
generation they were building; that impact it creates on the society.
For instance
, Research conducted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that in recent times education becomes more costly as they were providing modern facilities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not improving their knowledge delivering ways.
Lastly
, if children give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
focus
on the facts which has
been written
in the books, then one’s physical and mental growth has
been suffered
; this would create the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems in later life.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
schools were following conventional curriculum, giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
focus
on the theory which create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems, such as individual growth has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
this by giving more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
focus
on practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. v. 18

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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