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Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercise and spent more time with family and friends, whereas now many suffer loneliness and health problems. What are the causes of this and what are some solutions? v.10

Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercise and spent more time with family and friends, whereas now many suffer loneliness and health problems. What are the causes of this and what are some solutions? v. 10
Professionals argue that senior citizens are joyful and healthier because of a better lifestyle and balance family life in past days, however nowadays people suffer with health issues and solitude. This essay discuss' about the main causes of loneliness and physical issues like unhealthy lifestyle and usage of technology and This essay also suggest solutions to these problems including healthier habits and meeting each other in person. The main causes of these problems for the elderly are due to unhealthy diet habits, lack of exercise in their teenage. In the teenage are habituated to unhealthy food habits and being lazy in doing fitness exercise lead to many physical health related issues. For instance, due to their busy life people tend to eat outside food a lot and does not have time to do exercises, which ultimately lead to fail sick in the old age. In addition, the way technology involved in the life makes them show less interest meeting each other. For example, instead socializing each other elders because of physical condition and the electronic media, they prefer to watch Television and talk over the phone which gradually leads to loneliness. The solutions above problems is to a maintain healthier stay of living from the young age by doing regular exercise and to have proper diet. For illustrate, avoiding the junk food by consuming healthy and also by exercising at least 4 days a week and doing your works physically rather than relying on electronic components. Secondly, Isolation issue can get better by forming a group and arranging the events and meetings. Such as, a lot of old aged people are arranging parties once per week and meeting together to share feeling and get relaxed. In conclusion, in today’s fast paced world more and more people are becoming ill as a lack of unhealthy lifestyle. Here article discussed how loneliness and the healthy problem is often caused by poor stay of living and over usage of electronic components and Here article also suggested that the solutions to this problem are twofold: to manage a better work-life balance and to eat a healthier diet.
Professionals argue that senior citizens are joyful and healthier
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a better lifestyle and balance family life in past days,
however
nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer with health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
and solitude.
The verb 'discuss' is plural. Did you mean: "This essay discusses"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
This essay discuss
' about the main causes of loneliness and physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
lifestyle and usage of technology and This essay
also
suggest solutions to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
including healthier habits and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
each other in person.

The main causes of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
for the elderly are due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
diet habits, lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
in their teenage. In the teenage
are habituated
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
food habits and being lazy in doing fitness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
lead to
Possible agreement error. The noun health seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much physical health", "a good deal of physical health".
many physical health
related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
.
For instance
, due to their busy life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to eat outside food a lot and does not have time to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
, which
ultimately
lead to fail sick in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age.
In addition
, the way technology involved in the life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
less interest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
each other.
For example
,
instead
socializing each other elders
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of physical condition and the electronic media, they prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
Television and talk over the phone which
gradually
leads to loneliness.

The solutions above
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
is to
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'maintain' is correct. If 'maintain' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a maintain
healthier stay of living from the young age by doing regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
and to have proper diet. For illustrate, avoiding the junk food by consuming healthy and
also
by exercising at least 4 days a week and doing your works
physically
rather
than relying on electronic components.
Secondly
, Isolation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better by forming a group and arranging the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
. Such as,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are arranging parties once per week and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
together to share feeling and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
relaxed.

In conclusion
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
paced world more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming ill as a lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
lifestyle. Here article discussed how loneliness and the healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
caused by poor stay of living and over usage of electronic components and Here article
also
suggested that the solutions to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
are twofold: to manage a better work-life balance and to eat a healthier diet.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercise and spent more time with family and friends, whereas now many suffer loneliness and health problems. What are the causes of this and what are some solutions? v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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