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Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, to much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, to much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. v. 1
Some people argue that all educational systems from lower to higher education have focused on theoretical learning and also this method is not sufficient and also operational for hands-on skills. Personally, I believe that the authorities should make a scheme in order to tackle the problem and I am partially agree with this occurrence due to several reasons. It is true that students learn theoretically everything and the majority of governments do not care about this issue. Firstly, all schools and universities should devote enough time to finding the best way so as to recognize the passion of students. In fact, recognition can help these places to prepare an appropriate position for students and teach practical courses to them according to their interests. What is more through this way, students can find their hidden talents and it is a great opportunity for them to honing their skills and also are become aware of their weaknesses and abilities. Secondly, handy learning would be definitely advantageous for societies, to illustrate students know what directions what directions they want to go and after graduation most of them can work in the fields which they like and also have some experience. On the other hand, it is essential for all students to learn theoretically and practically their courses. In other words, information and knowledge are the prerequisite of the skills and without them it is really intricate for people to progress within a few times. Furthermore, some skills are very relevant to a previous data and this method can be helpful, such as repairing skill. Moreover, some students would like to be majoring in special fields in the future and they do not need to learn practical skills for their majors, namely medicine and so on. In conclusion, I have the opinion that it is vital for students both aspects of learning to find a better career with greater prospect beside useful skills.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that all educational systems from lower to higher education have focused on theoretical learning and
also
this method is not sufficient and
also
operational for hands-on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
Personally
, I believe that the authorities should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a scheme in order to tackle the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
problem and
I am
partially
Consider using a past participle here: "agreed".
agree
with this occurrence due to several reasons.

It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learn
theoretically
everything and the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
do not care about this issue.
Firstly
, all schools and universities should devote
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to finding the best way
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
recognize the passion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. In fact, recognition can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
these places to prepare an appropriate position for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and teach practical courses to them according to their interests.
What is more
through this way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can find their hidden talents and it is a great opportunity for them to honing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
also
are become
aware of their weaknesses and abilities.
Secondly
, handy learning would be definitely advantageous for societies, to illustrate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
know
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "what directions".
what directions what directions
they want to go and after graduation most of them can work in the fields which they like and
also
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
experience.

On the other hand
, it is essential for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to learn
theoretically
and
practically
their courses.
In other words
, information and knowledge are the prerequisite of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and without them it is
really
intricate for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to progress within a few times.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
relevant to a previous data and this method can be helpful, such as repairing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would like to be majoring in special fields in the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
future and
they do not need to learn practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
for their majors,
namely
medicine and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

In conclusion
, I have the opinion that it is vital for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
both aspects of learning to find a better career with greater prospect beside useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, to much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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