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Some people say that having a lot of TV channels is good, while others argue that it reduces the quality of programs. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people say that having a lot of TV channels is good, while others argue that it reduces the quality of programs. v. 1
Television has become the most pervasive of all media. Some would argue that this situation is better for society as it provides a plethora of choices for entertainment, while others think this is leading to deterioration in the content's quality shown in various TV channels. While getting access to a lot of shows on TV sounds a good idea, I believe that with the increasing number of these the quality is getting degraded and compromised. On the one hand, getting a TV package, which has many channels sounds tempting, because people have a lot of options for their entertainment. By, having many choices every member of the family can watch a show of their preferred genre and they can relate to it. For example, when I was a kid everyone in my family had a designated time interval for their entertainment to which we can attach and use them as our stress buster. However, with the increase in the number of channels because of less tax on entertainment and funding from celebrities the subject of the shows on various channels is getting dull day by day. On the other hand, it is undeniable that with increasing technology and relaxed copyrights law from the government the concept and matter of many shows overlap with each other. In this fiercely competitive world where every channel wants to lead the race of Television Rating points, which is also abbreviated as TRP, has led to copycat programs. For instance, on the BBC and AXN, every Friday night the same type of dancing and singing reality shows are broadcasted which have zero per cent of the difference between them, even the judges of them are swapped every year. I believe Program producers should understand the fact that customers need richer and varied choices for entertainment and should focus on the quality of the script. In conclusion, although numerous channels give the spectators a lot of options and make them happy for some time, it is vital that producers should put stress on filming quality programs with non-redundant script and cast. It is recommended that states also monitor the entertainment the industry for penalising copycats.
Television has become the most pervasive of all media.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
would argue that this situation is better for society as it provides a plethora of choices for entertainment, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is leading to deterioration in the content's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
shown in various TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
. While getting access to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
on TV sounds a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, I believe that with the increasing number of these the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
is getting degraded and compromised.

On the one hand, getting a TV package, which has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
sounds tempting,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
options for their entertainment. By, having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
choices every member of the family can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
of their preferred
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
genre and
they can relate to it.
For example
, when I was a kid everyone in my family had a designated time interval for their entertainment to which we can attach and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them as our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
buster.
However
, with the increase in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of less tax on entertainment and funding from celebrities the subject of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
on various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
is getting dull day by day.

On the other hand
, it is undeniable that with increasing technology and relaxed copyrights law from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
the concept and matter of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
overlap with each other. In this
fiercely
competitive world where every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channel
wants to lead the race of Television Rating points, which is
also
abbreviated as TRP, has led to copycat programs.
For instance
, on the BBC and AXN, every Friday night the same type of dancing and singing reality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
are broadcasted
which have zero per cent of the difference between them, even the judges of them
are swapped
every year. I believe Program producers should understand the fact that customers need richer and varied choices for entertainment and should focus on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of the script.

In conclusion
, although numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
give the spectators
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
options and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them happy for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time, it is vital that producers should put
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on filming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
programs with non-redundant script and cast. It
is recommended
that states
also
monitor the entertainment the industry for
Possible spelling mistake. 'penalising' is British English.
penalising
copycats.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that having a lot of TV channels is good, while others argue that it reduces the quality of programs. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
359 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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