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Some countries spend a lot of money to make bicycle usage easier. why is this? Is this the best solution to traffic congestion? v.2

Some countries spend a lot of money to make bicycle usage easier. why is this? Is this the best solution to traffic congestion? v. 2
The massive amount has been contributed by some countries in order to promote bicycle usage become smoother. It assists people to be healthy and also curtail the level of air pollution, which makes society spic and span. In my perspective, this could be one of the prominent ways of mitigating traffic congestion and would elucidate the reason for opting this along with other alternative measures to reduce the bottleneck. Commuting by bicycle is the ideal form of transportation nowadays owing to various reasons. This eco- friendly transport aids people to reduce their excess fat and cholesterol predominantly in this era of a sedentary lifestyle. Consequently, they can keep away all the major diseases. Since the crude oil has got paused sometimes and the government needs to import it for exorbitant rate from various parts of the country. To cite an example, in japan government has provided colossal grants to bicycle manufacturers for the purpose of decrease the value of a bicycle and thereby 65% more likely to prefer it by the public as a part of their commutation. A number of other measures can be accessed by the government in order to reduce traffic congestion. One of the fine solutions is to reap ring roads or bridge ways for the vehicles to run peacefully without obstructing other vehicles. This enables the passengers to comfortable driving and also reach their desired place within the stipulated period of time. In addition to this, the government can emphasis more on battery-operated vehicles, which are not prevalent among society. Overwhelmingly, elderly or disabled people are not able to run the bicycle themselves so, the aforementioned alternatives would be the best to surmount the problem of traffic congestion. To sum up, countries are willing to spend a huge amount of money to make bicycle usage easier among the public. Although this would help to minimize the volume of traffic pile up, other measures are also negotiable for a similar purpose.
The massive amount has
been contributed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries in order to promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
usage become smoother. It assists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to be healthy and
also
curtail the level of air pollution, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
society spic and span. In my perspective, this could be one of the prominent ways of mitigating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion and would elucidate the reason for opting this along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
alternative measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the bottleneck.

Commuting by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
is the ideal form of transportation nowadays owing to various reasons. This
Possible spelling mistake found.
eco
- friendly transport aids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their excess
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and cholesterol
predominantly
in this era of a sedentary lifestyle.
Consequently
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
away all the major diseases. Since the crude oil has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
paused
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
needs to import it for exorbitant rate from various parts of the country. To cite an example, in japan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has provided colossal grants to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
manufacturers for the purpose of decrease the value of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
and thereby 65% more likely to prefer it by the public as a part of their commutation.

A number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
measures can
be accessed
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion. One of the fine solutions is to reap ring roads or bridge ways for the vehicles to run
peacefully
without obstructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
vehicles. This enables the passengers to comfortable driving and
also
reach their desired place within the stipulated period of time.
In addition
to this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can emphasis more on battery-operated vehicles, which are not prevalent among society.
Overwhelmingly
, elderly or disabled
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not able to run the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the aforementioned alternatives would be the best to surmount the problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion.

To sum up, countries are willing to spend a huge amount of money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
usage easier among the public. Although this would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to minimize the volume of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
pile up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
measures are
also
negotiable for a similar purpose.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some countries spend a lot of money to make bicycle usage easier. why is this? Is this the best solution to traffic congestion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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