Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.13

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. v. 13
The vegan idea that animals and humans should be treated as equal, where the former are never used to benefit the latters, is becoming popular. Conversely, some people claim that humans need to use animals either for eating or for scientific experiments. This essay is going to explain these two points of view and then give my opinion. On the one hand, animals should have the same rights than humans since they are equally important for our planet. For example, we would not survive if all the bees, tiny insects, were extinct. Hence, we should respect and love all forms of life in our universe because we depend on them. Killing an animal should be the same than killing a human being. On the other hand, humans need to eat certain substances to survive, such as protein, which is easier to obtain in large quantities by eating the meat of animals such as cows and pigs. Not mention the chemical tests that the pharmaceutical industry needs to apply on animals, for instance. Since, testing these substances in humans is illegal. For these reasons, animals are needed, otherwise our specie would be endangered. To conclude, I totally agree that animals should be employed to serve human needs as they are an asset to our lives. However, we should look after our environment and biodiversity in order to guarantee that we can continue to exploit them in the future.
The vegan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
should
be treated
as equal, where the former are never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to benefit the
Possible spelling mistake found.
latters
, is becoming popular.
Conversely
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
either for eating or for scientific experiments. This essay is going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
these two points of view and then give my opinion.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should have the same rights
Comparison is written 'the same ... "as"'.
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
since they are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for our planet.
For example
, we would not survive if all the bees, tiny insects, were extinct.
Hence
, we should respect and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
all forms of life in our universe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we depend on them. Killing an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
should be the same
Comparison is written 'the same ... "as"'.
than
killing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
being.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to eat certain substances to survive, such as protein, which is easier to obtain in large quantities by eating the meat of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
such as cows and pigs. Not mention the chemical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
that the pharmaceutical industry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to apply on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
,
for instance
.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
, testing these substances in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
is illegal. For these reasons,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are needed
,
otherwise
our specie would
be endangered
.

To conclude
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should
be employed
to serve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
as they are an asset to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
However
, we should look after our environment and biodiversity in order to guarantee that we can continue to exploit them in the future.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts