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some people say that government should spend money on faster public transport others think that money should be spend on different aspects such as cost reduction and environment conservation discuss both views and give your own opinion v.2

some people say that government should spend money on faster public transport others think that money should be spend on different aspects such as cost reduction and environment conservation 2
In this high tech era, transportation modes has turned the whole world into small village. Presently, some proportion of masses assert that it is necessary to spend large amount on fastes transportation modes. By contrast, others say that government must use money on other factors such as cost reduction and environment conservation. Here. I would like to accord both the view points with my own perception. There are manifold points to support the former view, first and foremost, people will definitely give preference to public transport if government spend money for making fastest transport system. For example, in this fast and furious world everyone who are engaged with work or study want to reach their destination on proper time for this purpose they use their personal vehicle because they do not want to face problems such as traffic, and many others. Therefor, improvement in public vehicle will surely stimulate masses for using public transport. Numerous points can be mentioned in the latter view. Initially, government should spend money on eco -friendly transport system. To be specific, excessive use of personal vehicle reduce natural resources such as oil, fuel, and others so it is imperative to make eco friendly modes for people. Thus, more eco friendly sources means less traffic, less air contamination, which is fruitful for environment. Moreover, in this era of inflation, is is essential that government should deduce the transportation cost so that anyone can take the service of public transport. Hence, cost reduction in public transportation system is the need of an hour. To recapitulate, Undeniably, people feel more comfortable with fastest transport modes. However, still I believe that government should think about environment and make some change in transportation system for the people.
In this high tech era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modes
has turned the whole world into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
village.
Presently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
proportion of masses assert that it is necessary to spend large amount on
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "fasts", the plural form of the noun 'fast'?
fastes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modes
. By contrast, others say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors such as cost reduction and environment conservation. Here. I would like to accord both the view points with my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perception.

There are manifold points to support the former view,
first
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will definitely give preference to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
spend money for making
A determiner is probably missing here: "the fastest".
fastest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
.
For example
, in this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and furious world everyone who
are engaged
with work or study want to reach their destination on proper time for this purpose they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their personal vehicle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not want to face problems such as traffic, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others. Therefor, improvement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
vehicle will
surely
stimulate masses for using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport.

Numerous points can
be mentioned
in the latter view.
Initially
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should spend money on
Possible spelling mistake found.
eco -friendly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
. To be specific, excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of personal vehicle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
natural resources such as oil, fuel,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is imperative to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
eco friendly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modes
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Thus
, more
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
eco friendly
sources means less traffic, less air contamination, which is fruitful for environment.
Moreover
, in this era of inflation,
Possible typo: you repeated a word
is is
essential that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should deduce the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
cost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that anyone can take the service of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
.
Hence
, cost reduction in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
is the need of an hour.

To recapitulate,
Undeniably
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel more comfortable with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the fastest".
fastest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modes
.
However
,
still
I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about environment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay some people say that government should spend money on faster public transport others think that money should be spend on different aspects such as cost reduction and environment conservation 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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