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some people say that government should spend money on faster public transport others think that money should be spend on different aspects such as cost reduction and environment conservation discuss both views and give your own opinion v.1

some people say that government should spend money on faster public transport others think that money should be spend on different aspects such as cost reduction and environment conservation 1
Technology is becoming increasingly popular these days in day to day normal life. Some individuals believe that the growth in technology has made human lives difficult, hence, the resolution to this problem is to lead a simple life. I completely disagree with this statement. Firstly, computer usage has been increasing and we use these machines for our daily routine work. For example, there are many grocery stores across the world, but however we use smartphones to order food and other departmental items. Secondly, individuals think that the machines are more helpful in saving their time and effort. For instance, when humans go to restaurants they expect to grab the food quickly instead of waiting in the long queues. That's the reason they use kiosk machines to order the food. Nowadays, Robotics is the emerging automation technology in the teaching field for university students. To illustrate, the learners need not go to the classroom for the course achievement instead they can sit anywhere and educate themselves at their convenience with the e-learning mechanics. Secondly, Machine learning is helpful in securing the jobs in software industry for more compensation. To explain better, if college folks are trained in Information Technology they can easily get a job with good compensation. Many humans already working in the software industry are making good money and exploring the world due to the overseas assignments. To summarize, though there are few disadvantages like misuse and abuse, but the benefits are significant is using these technologies. Hence, I completely disagree with the statement provided.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
is becoming
increasingly
popular these days in day to day normal life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals believe that the growth in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has made human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
difficult,
hence
, the resolution to this problem is to lead a simple life. I completely disagree with this statement.

Firstly
, computer usage has been
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
increasing and
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
for our daily routine work.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
grocery stores across the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
however
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
smartphones to order food and other departmental items.
Secondly
, individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
are more helpful in saving their time and effort.
For instance
, when humans go to restaurants they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to grab the food
quickly
instead
of waiting in the long queues. That's the reason they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
kiosk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
to order the food.

Nowadays, Robotics is the emerging automation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in the teaching field for university students. To illustrate, the learners need not go to the classroom for the course achievement
instead
they can sit anywhere and educate themselves at their convenience with the e-learning mechanics.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Machine
learning is helpful in securing the jobs in software industry for more compensation. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
better, if college folks
are trained
in Information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
they can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
compensation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
humans already working in the software industry are making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
money and exploring the world due to the overseas assignments.

To summarize
, though there are few disadvantages like misuse and abuse,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the benefits are significant is using these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
.
Hence
, I completely disagree with the statement provided.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay some people say that government should spend money on faster public transport others think that money should be spend on different aspects such as cost reduction and environment conservation 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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