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Some people believe that regular exercise and diet are not necessary to live a long and healthy life. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people believe that regular exercise and diet are not necessary to live a long and healthy life. v. 1
Many people believe that proper nutrition along with good exercise doesn’t always guarantee a long healthy life. I completely disagree with this statement as these two are the key component towards a quality life. First of all, there are growing evidence that balanced diet is the only ultimate solution to keep our body mechanisms healthy. A proper diet includes all required ingredients and resources to have our body well-functioned. As we consume these nutrients daily, it makes sure that our body is building resistance towards disease. For instance, Japan has the highest life expectancy among all the Asian countries because their daily meals consist of vegetables and nutrients. So, it is almost impossible for us to live a healthy and prolonged life if we consume unhealthy foods or have poor diet. Secondly, it is proven that frequent involvement in fitness activity compresses the risk of heart failure. In a human body, exercise plays a vital role in maintaining blood circulation of our heart. That is to mean, a person will have low cholesterol level and has less possibility of having him/herself from situations like heart attacks and strokes. For example, the BBC reported on last year that the USA experiences 6000 deaths per year due to heart attack, fitness being the cause for most of the deaths. In conclusion, I strongly believe that combination of a good diet and physical activity is crucial in order to live a healthy life as it helps to avoid disease as well as ensures safety of our heart.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that proper nutrition along with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
exercise doesn’t always guarantee a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I completely disagree with this statement as these two are the key component towards a quality life.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, there are growing evidence that balanced diet is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
ultimate solution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
mechanisms
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
. A proper diet includes all required ingredients and resources to have our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
well-functioned. As we consume these nutrients daily, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
sure that our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
is building resistance towards disease.
For instance
, Japan has the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy among all the Asian countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their daily meals consist of vegetables and nutrients.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is almost impossible for us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
and prolonged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
if we consume unhealthy foods or have poor diet.

Secondly
, it
is proven
that frequent involvement in fitness activity compresses the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heart
failure. In a human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
, exercise plays a vital role in maintaining blood circulation of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heart
.
That is
to mean, a person will have low cholesterol level and has less possibility of having him/herself from situations like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heart
attacks and strokes.
For example
, the BBC reported on last year that the USA experiences 6000 deaths per year due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heart
attack, fitness being the cause for most of the deaths.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that combination of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
diet and physical activity is crucial in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to avoid disease
as well
as ensures safety of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heart
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that regular exercise and diet are not necessary to live a long and healthy life. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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