Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say that globalization will lead to a loss of cultural identity. Others think that globalization will result in world peace and harmony. To what extent do you agree with either sentence? v.2

Some people say that globalization will lead to a loss of cultural identity. Others think that globalization will result in world peace and harmony. v. 2
The modern world is bringing the people closer and closer. It is widely believed that, this will be resulting in the disappearance of traditions and cultures, but others rate it as a source of peace and harmonious communities. Though it has adverse effects on cultures, the advantages of the society are much heavier, so, I agree with the positive side of the impacts. The local traditions and cultures are on the verge of extinction with the formation of the global village. The invention of latest communications, especially in the form of the internet and fast transportation, has placed the individuals across the globe in proximities. This leads to the awareness about lifestyles and new trends, resultantly, similarities in the language, dressing and housing are on the rise. Moreover, for the sake of the employments and education, masses are settling in different cities worldwide. Thus, creating communities of multi-linguistic and multi-ethnic bases with a range of various ways of living. The consequences are an amalgamation of cultures and the native cultures have started vanishing. For example, New York represents around 40 different ethnicities, all adapted to resembling daily lives. However, there are examples of many people, maintaining their original traditional methods. Despite the above mentioned drawbacks, it is strongly argued that the world peace is resulting from the globalization. Firstly, the modern communication gadgets, is quite helpful to law enforcement agencies. For instance, location services and contact tracing serve to apprehend the culprits and are legal tools in today's forensic laboratories. Secondly, the people have developed friendships across the globe, thanks to the technology. In that, they understand each other in the best ways and clear many misconceptions about cultures, religions and races. Consequently, the harmony is on the rise. For example, Facebook, WhatsApp and other tools have brought billions of natives from thousands of miles in contact. I think these are the biggest and heaviest positive points which outweigh the negative implications on identities, that otherwise can be managed by the personal and communal efforts. In conclusion, the globalization is a source of peace and harmony in the world, despite its manageable deleterious impacts on the cultures. I support the viewpoint of the plus points.
The modern world is bringing the
people
closer and closer. It is
widely
believed that, this will be resulting in the disappearance of traditions and
cultures
,
but
others rate it as a source of peace and harmonious communities. Though it has adverse effects on
cultures
, the advantages of the society are much heavier,
so
, I
agree
with the
positive
side of the impacts.

The local traditions and
cultures
are on the verge of extinction with the formation of the global village. The invention of
latest
communications,
especially
in the form of the internet and
fast
transportation, has placed the individuals across the globe in
proximities
. This leads to the awareness about lifestyles and new trends,
resultantly
, similarities in the language, dressing and housing are on the rise.
Moreover
, for the sake of the employments and education, masses are settling in
different
cities worldwide.
Thus
, creating communities of multi-linguistic and multi-ethnic bases with a range of various ways of living. The consequences are an amalgamation of
cultures
and the native
cultures
have
started
vanishing.
For example
, New York represents around 40
different
ethnicities, all adapted to resembling daily
lives
.
However
, there are examples of
many
people
, maintaining their original traditional methods.

Despite the above mentioned drawbacks, it is
strongly
argued that the world peace is resulting from the globalization.
Firstly
, the modern communication gadgets, is quite helpful to law enforcement agencies.
For instance
, location services and contact tracing serve to apprehend the culprits and are legal tools in
today
's forensic laboratories.
Secondly
, the
people
have developed friendships across the globe, thanks to the technology. In that, they understand each other in the best ways and
clear
many
misconceptions about
cultures
, religions and races.
Consequently
, the harmony is on the rise.
For example
, Facebook, WhatsApp and other tools have brought billions of natives from thousands of miles in contact. I
think
these are the biggest and heaviest
positive
points which outweigh the
negative
implications on identities, that
otherwise
can
be managed
by the personal and communal efforts.

In conclusion
, the globalization is a source of peace and harmony in the world, despite its manageable deleterious impacts on the
cultures
. I support the viewpoint of the plus points.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that globalization will lead to a loss of cultural identity. Others think that globalization will result in world peace and harmony. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
365 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts