Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

35. As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon know as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Given reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. v.1

35. As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon know as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity. with this statement? Given reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. v. 1
Globalization has transformed our communities into more diverse ones worldwide, especially in metropolitans. Some people are afraid that traditional cultures will be diminished among citizens inevitably and eventually may lose the identities of their cultural roots. I only agree with this view under certain situation and believe that globalization has little effects on people's cultures. To begin with, family roots are inherited from their parents into their blood. As long as they are raised in the communities with their parents' identical cultures, they will nurture to admire their own identities. Although the world has become a global village,  novel customs have been introduced to local inhabitants with trace efficacy on their cultural belief which are already nurtured inside their souls during their growth. In addition, personal appearance such as colour of skin, eyes or hair are all identical and unmodified.  Routine practices in the ethical group are carried on generation by generation. As a result, the youth will be guided by the elders to carry on their own customs without being affected by others. In addition, diverse cultures have co-existed in many metropolitans worldwide, especially in western nations,  such as Canada, USA, and so on. Many citizens there have their own cultural backgrounds living in a same community. Newcomers or visitors to these nations may bring their own customs; however, annual cultural festivals held by local governments around the countries will reinforce inhabitants' personal cultural identifies by learning, understanding or tolerating novel ones. At times, globalization may introduce new elements of cultures from outside nations; but, local inhabitants seem to be able to abolish the efficacy caused by new elements to their own ones by practicing their own customs routinely. In conclusion, globalization will affect people's lifestyle and introduce new content to their daily lives; however, traditional customs will be well preserved by local inhabitants due to above reasons. Globalization will broad people's horizontal knowledge and will make inhabitants' lives more colourful and con
Globalization has transformed our communities into more diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
worldwide,
especially
in metropolitans.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are afraid that traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
will
be diminished
among citizens
inevitably
and
eventually
may lose the identities of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
roots. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view under certain situation and believe that globalization has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
effects on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's cultures.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, family roots 
are inherited
from their parents into their blood. As long as they
are raised
 in the communities with their parents' identical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
, they will nurture to admire their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
 identities. Although the world has become a global village,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
novel customs have
been introduced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
inhabitants with trace efficacy on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
belief which are already nurtured inside their souls during their growth.
In addition
, personal appearance such as
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
of skin, eyes or hair are all identical and unmodified.  Routine practices in the ethical group
are carried
on generation by generation.
As a result
, the youth will
be guided
by the elders to carry on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
customs without being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
 by others.

In addition
, diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
have co-existed in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
metropolitans worldwide,
especially
in western nations,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
such as Canada, USA, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
citizens there have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
backgrounds living in a same community. Newcomers or visitors to these nations may bring their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
customs;
however
, annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
festivals held by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
around the countries will reinforce inhabitants' personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
identifies by learning, understanding or tolerating novel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. At times, globalization may introduce new elements of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
from outside nations;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
inhabitants seem to be able to abolish the efficacy caused by new elements to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
by practicing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
customs
routinely
.

In conclusion
, globalization will affect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's lifestyle and introduce new content to their daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
;
however
, traditional customs will be
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well preserved
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
inhabitants due to above reasons. Globalization will broad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's horizontal knowledge and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
inhabitants'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
more
Possible spelling mistake. 'colourful' is British English.
colourful
and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
con
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay 35. As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon know as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity. with this statement? Given reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts