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Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it should be stopped. Discuss both views, and give your opinion. v.9

Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it should be stopped. v. 9
It is a controversial issue as to whether the growth of economic stops human's hunger and poverty, or, whether it is a method of depleting natural resources and polluting the ambience. From my perspective, economic advancement would, invariably, remove the hunger of people who could live a standard life in the long run. To begin with, governments emphasize on earning revenue, which considers a key to success of a country. For that reason, authorities invest in factories, manufacturing facilities to gain profits geometrically. By doing all these, the industrialized areas are polluting the atmosphere by spreading dangerous particles, black smoke, harmful chemicals in air and water, which are the contributing factor of greenhouse gases, consequently, the world is suffering from global warming. Moreover, owners of companies do not hesitate to use natural raw materials rather than artificial materials. As a result, the environment is losing its natural substances such as minerals, copper, gold, to name but a few. For example, the natural resource of Congo is copper, which is on the verge of extinction. In contrast, since bureaucrats of countries are focusing on making their countries as industrialized terrains, most of the citizens would get rid of the unemployment curse, which could help them to earn a lot of money through which they lead a healthy and better life where poverty would no longer survive. Besides, governments are investing in buying modern machines for executing labour-intensive tasks immediately. Thus, people will not face any scarcity of food which reduces hunger. For instance, in Bangladesh, people used to depend on cows and cow carts for ploughing land so that they could not produce rice, but now, the production of rice is abundant due to using tractors. In conclusion, although economic growth may destroy the environment, it helps to decrease hunger and poverty. In my opinion, the progression of GDP into the economy succours to feed individuals and provides a standard life.
It is a controversial issue
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
the growth of economic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
human's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunger
and poverty, or, whether it is a method of depleting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources and polluting the ambience. From my perspective, economic advancement would,
invariably
, remove the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunger
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a standard life in the long run.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
emphasize on earning revenue, which considers a key to success of a country. For that reason, authorities invest in factories, manufacturing facilities to gain profits
geometrically
. By doing all these, the industrialized areas are polluting the atmosphere by spreading
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
particles, black smoke, harmful chemicals in air and water, which are the contributing factor of greenhouse gases,
consequently
, the world is suffering from global warming.
Moreover
, owners of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
do not hesitate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
raw materials
rather
than artificial materials.
As a result
, the environment is losing its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
substances such as minerals, copper, gold, to name
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a few.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resource of Congo is copper, which is on the verge of extinction.

In contrast
, since bureaucrats of countries are focusing on making their countries as industrialized terrains, most of the citizens would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of the unemployment curse, which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money through which they lead a healthy and better life where poverty would no longer survive.
Besides
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are investing in buying modern machines for executing
Possible spelling mistake found.
labour-intensive
tasks immediately.
Thus
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will not face any scarcity of food which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunger
.
For instance
, in Bangladesh,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to depend on cows and cow carts for
Possible spelling mistake found.
ploughing
land
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they could not produce rice,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, the production of rice is abundant due to using tractors.

In conclusion
, although economic growth may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the environment, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to decrease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunger
and poverty. In my opinion, the progression of GDP into the economy
Possible spelling mistake found.
succours
to feed individuals and provides a standard life.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it should be stopped. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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