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Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.5

Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it should be stopped. v. 5
It is often argued whether economic development is a positive trend or not. Some people consider it as the only solution to hunger and poverty, while others, who want to stop such growth, blame it for environmental degradation. In my point of view, although both sides have their own grounds, I believe we should not stop the economy from developing. On the one hand, it is undeniable that industrialization brought about detrimental effects on the environment. To be specific, in order to maximize profits, millions of factories skipped restrictions on waste treatment, discharging tons of contaminants to the water body every day. Furthermore, economic development comes along with an increase in people’s needs. In the past, every family only owned one to two cars whereas at present, the affordable prices of private means of transportation allow everyone, even teenagers, has their own ones. This results in a large number of cars being used every day, which emit air pollutants into the atmosphere and heavily damage the environment. However, despite such drawbacks, economic growth plays an important role in ending hunger and poverty. In undeveloped countries, for the time being, there are hundreds of death from starvation every day, and their only hope is supports from the government. Seeing this issue rom the government perspective, it is impossible to support such large number of famine victims without a stable budget. The only solution is to uplift the economy so that every individual can generate their own incomes, and the governments can use taxes to support those who in need. Moreover, I believe only when people escape poverty do they start having serious considerations of global issues such as protecting the environment. Therefore, economic development does not totally have negative effects on the environment. In conclusion, while the growth of the economy may have harmful impacts on the environment, it seems to be the only way to save people lives in undeveloped countries. Based on the aforementioned reasons, I hold the belief that the latter is more important and economic development should be encouraged.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend or not.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider it as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
solution to hunger and poverty, while others, who want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
such growth, blame it for environmental degradation. In my point of view, although both sides have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
grounds, I believe we should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the economy from developing.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that industrialization brought about detrimental effects on the environment. To be specific, in order to maximize profits, millions of factories skipped restrictions on waste treatment, discharging tons of contaminants to the water body every day.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
along with an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
needs. In the past, every family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
one to two cars whereas at present, the affordable prices of private means of transportation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
everyone, even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
ones. This results in
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
cars being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
every day, which emit air pollutants into the atmosphere and
heavily
damage the environment.

However
, despite such drawbacks,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in ending hunger and poverty. In undeveloped countries, for the time being, there are hundreds of death from starvation every day, and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
hope is supports from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. Seeing this issue
Possible spelling mistake found.
rom
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
perspective, it is impossible to support such large number of famine victims without a stable budget. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
solution is to uplift the economy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that every individual can generate their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
incomes, and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
taxes to support those who in need.
Moreover
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
escape poverty do they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
having serious considerations of global issues such as protecting the environment.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
does not
totally
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on the environment.

In conclusion
, while the growth of the economy may have harmful impacts on the environment, it seems to be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
way to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
lives
in undeveloped countries. Based on the aforementioned reasons, I hold the belief that the latter is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
should
be encouraged
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it should be stopped. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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