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Air travel can only benefit the richest people in the world. The ordinary people can get no advantage with the development of air travel. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

Air travel can only benefit the richest people in the world. The ordinary people can get no advantage with the development of air travel. v. 3
The Airline industry is thriving in these few decades with more service providers compared with in the past. Some people contend that planes are superior ways of transport, designed for the higher income group, so normal people cannot enjoy the benefits of the prospering airline industry. I partly disagree with this argument. With more companies being established in the world, the competitions between corporations have actually brought the price of flight tickets down in view of the fact that they want to attract customers by cost-efficient services. Normal inhabitants can have opportunities to enjoy cheap flight tickets that they did not have a few decades ago. For instance, HK Express, gaining its reputation by offering low priced, but outstanding airline services, is a very popular airline company in Hong Kong. The token can be as cheap as 1500 dollars compared with Cathay Pacific which charges citizens 3000 for the same distance. As a result, common people can now have more chances to spend their holidays in other countries without paying for expensive tickets. However, some airline companies try to earn more by investing more in the business class, which is a superior service for privileged customers. This action is actually widening the gap between rich and normal people. For example, rich one can have a bed on the airline while ordinary one can only sit in the captivated economic class with their legs bent uncomfortably. In this sense, the development somehow does not benefit the normal but only the rich. Moreover, some corporations, even keep raising their price simply for the reason that they only want to provide services to prestige customers, building their brand as a high class company. Consequently, normal people have less good companies to choose from. To conclude, though the advancement of the airline industry has brought about some companies that only serve rich people, normal people can also benefit from it by having more cost-effective plane services compared with 10 years ago. This explained why I partly disagree with the mentioned argument.
The Airline industry is thriving in these few decades with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
providers compared with in the past.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
contend that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
are superior ways of transport, designed for the higher income group,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot enjoy the benefits of the prospering airline industry. I partly disagree with this argument.

With more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
being established
in the world, the competitions between corporations have actually brought the price of flight tickets down in view of the fact that they want to attract customers by cost-efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Normal
inhabitants can have opportunities to enjoy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
flight tickets that they did not have a few decades ago.
For instance
, HK Express, gaining its reputation by offering low priced,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
outstanding airline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
, is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular airline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
in Hong Kong. The token can be as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
as 1500 dollars compared with Cathay Pacific which charges citizens 3000 for the same distance.
As a result
, common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have more chances to spend their holidays in other countries without paying for expensive tickets.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
airline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
try to earn more by investing more in the business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, which is a superior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
for privileged customers. This action is actually widening the gap between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
one can have a bed on the airline while ordinary one can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
sit in the captivated economic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
with their legs bent
uncomfortably
. In this sense, the development somehow does not benefit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
normal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
corporations, even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
raising their price
simply
for the reason that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
want to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
to prestige customers, building their brand as a high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to choose from.

To conclude
, though the advancement of the airline industry has brought about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
serve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
also
benefit from it by having more cost-effective
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
compared with 10 years ago. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
why I partly disagree with the mentioned argument.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Air travel can only benefit the richest people in the world. The ordinary people can get no advantage with the development of air travel. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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