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SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT NOW WE CAN SEE FILMS ON OUR PHONES OR TABLIETS, THERE IS NO NEED TO GO TO THE CINEMA. OTHERS SAY THAT TO BE FULLY ENJOYED, FILMS NEED TO BE SEEN IN A CINEMA. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION. v.1

SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT NOW WE CAN SEE FILMS ON OUR PHONES OR TABLIETS, THERE IS NO NEED TO GO TO THE CINEMA. OTHERS SAY THAT TO BE FULLY ENJOYED, FILMS NEED TO BE SEEN IN A CINEMA. v. 1
Movies are the most preferable source of entertainment in this contemporary world. Although some mass believed to watch it on their electronic gadgets, some still enjoy watching it on the silver screen. I enjoy films on the big screen, and this essay will discuss my views on both. There are certainly a few benefits of watching movies on the Smartphone, the TV and the Tablet. Undoubtedly, we can change the light of the screen according to our convenience. Moreover, it will be easy to stay and watch wherever you want as it gives flexibility in time and comfort. For example, recent research by the Film Association in India showed that the ratio of download through websites is comparatively higher than the footfalls in Hall. Hence, majorities of viewers are grown-ups and they consider watching movies in their spare time as their hobby. However, many views yet enjoy watching films in the theatre. The most noticeable feature of the amphitheatre is the pleasant view and the boldness in sound which creates a different level of entertainment. For instance, enjoying 3 D in the VOX Cinema gives you the real feel of every essence of action performed in it. Watching movies in the movie house, therefore, is more enjoyable because it gets you deeply involved in it. To sum up, enjoying movies in the picture hall takes you to an imaginary world wherein you feel yourself being a part of it while watching in modern gadgets shows your less involvement. As far as I am concerned, my first preference is the Cinema.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Movies
are the most preferable source of entertainment in this contemporary world. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mass believed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
it on their electronic gadgets,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
still
enjoy watching it on the silver screen. I enjoy films on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
screen, and this essay will discuss my views on both.

There are
certainly
a few benefits of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on the Smartphone, the TV and the Tablet.
Undoubtedly
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the light of the screen according to our convenience.
Moreover
, it will be easy to stay and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
wherever you want as it gives flexibility in time and comfort.
For example
, recent research by the Film Association in India
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that the ratio of download through websites is
comparatively
higher than the footfalls in Hall.
Hence
, majorities of viewers are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
grown-ups and
they consider watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in their spare time as their hobby.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
views
yet
enjoy watching films in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
. The most noticeable feature of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'amphitheatre' is British English.
amphitheatre
is the pleasant view and the boldness in sound which creates a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
level of entertainment.
For instance
, enjoying 3 D in the VOX Cinema gives you the real feel of every essence of action performed in it. Watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
,
therefore
, is more enjoyable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
you
deeply
involved in it.

To sum up, enjoying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in the picture hall takes you to an imaginary world wherein you feel yourself being a part of it while watching in modern gadgets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
your less involvement. As far as I
am concerned
, my
first
preference is the Cinema.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT NOW WE CAN SEE FILMS ON OUR PHONES OR TABLIETS, THERE IS NO NEED TO GO TO THE CINEMA. OTHERS SAY THAT TO BE FULLY ENJOYED, FILMS NEED TO BE SEEN IN A CINEMA. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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