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Some people say that economic development is necessary to reduce the poverty in the world. Others say that economic growth should be stopped immediately to stop damaging the environment. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.1

Some people say that economic development is necessary to reduce the poverty in the world. Others say that economic growth should be stopped immediately to stop damaging the environment. v. 1
Economic development is becoming a subject of debate these days. While some believe that economical growth is essential in addressing poverty, others think that it should be stopped as it is causing the environmental damage. This essay will discuss why to lessen the poverty is important, but why saving environment is vital for a greater good. On the one hand, there are some people who believe that economic development is necessary to reduce the poverty. Countries with a good economic growth can provide a high level of social welfare, free education and free medical care to their citizens. For example, in developed countries even the poorest of the poor have the basic amenities of life, such as food, clothing and shelter. Because of the above reason some think that economy is important to diminish the poverty. On the other hand, some believe that a growing economy is damaging the environment. Most of the things we use require some kind of energy to manufacture, operate and maintain and disposing-of these things is difficult. This type of things is likely to pollute the environment. Because of this reason people believe that economic growth should be put to an end to stop harming the environment. In conclusion, debates about the economic development are becoming contentious. This essay discussed why economic development is a key to decrease the poverty, but why economic growth leading to an environmental damage. In my opinion, we should focus on environmental friendly development.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is becoming a subject of debate these days. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
is essential in addressing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
as it is causing the environmental damage. This essay will discuss why to lessen the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
why saving environment is vital for a greater
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
. Countries with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
can provide a high level of social welfare, free education and free medical care to their citizens.
For example
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
even the poorest of the poor have the basic amenities of life, such as food, clothing and shelter.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
of the above reason
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that economy is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to diminish the poverty.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that a growing economy is damaging the environment. Most of the things we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of energy to manufacture, operate and maintain and disposing-of these things is difficult. This type of things is likely to pollute the environment.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
of this reason
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
should
be put
to an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
harming the environment.

In conclusion
, debates about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
are becoming contentious. This essay discussed why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
is a key to decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
leading to
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "environmental damage".
an environmental damage
. In my opinion, we should focus on environmental friendly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Some people say that economic development is necessary to reduce the poverty in the world. Others say that economic growth should be stopped immediately to stop damaging the environment. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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