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children today spend more time watching television than they did in the past. describe some of the advantages and disadvantages of television for children. v.5

children today spend more time watching television than they did in the past. describe some of the advantages and disadvantages of television for children. v. 5
In a world where technology is controlling everything around us, it is of no surprise that lately, television has become a greater part of people's lives, especially children's lives. Nowadays, children spend most of their time in front of the television. To be fair enough concerning this topic, one can't deny that spending more time watching television has its pros and cons. To start with, television has helped children develop their language and critical thinking skills. Some skills that are really important in life. Although television is taking away so much, time for children, yet they are benefiting from their time in front of it indirectly. For example, the hours they spend listening to the characters' conversations help them develop their language skills and learn new vocabulary. To add to that, the variety of topics they encounter on television help them develop their critical thinking and grasp greater knowledge. On the other hand, television itself, has many disadvantages. The topics or the things a children watch, might mislead him in a real life. For instance, the violence that a child might see on television might make him think that this is very normal, and that one can make use of it while facing any problem in real life and this might lead him to some serious issues afterwards. In conclusion, technology, and in particular, television like most other things in life, has its advantages and disadvantages. Children should try to make the best out of it and spend their time wisely. And here comes the role of the parents.
In a world where technology is controlling everything around us, it is of no surprise that lately,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
has become a greater part of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
especially
children's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in front of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. To be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
concerning this topic, one can't deny that spending more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
has its pros and cons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
develop their language and critical thinking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that are
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is taking away
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
yet
they are benefiting from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in front of it
indirectly
.
For example
, the hours they spend listening to the characters' conversations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them develop their language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and learn new vocabulary. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to that, the variety of topics they encounter on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them develop their critical thinking and grasp greater knowledge.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
itself, has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages. The topics or the things a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
mislead him in a real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
, the violence that a child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
normal, and that one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of it while facing any problem in real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
lead him to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious issues afterwards.

In conclusion
, technology, and
in particular
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
like most other things in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, has its advantages and disadvantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
should try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the best out of it and spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
wisely
. And here
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
the role of the parents.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay children today spend more time watching television than they did in the past. describe some of the advantages and disadvantages of television for children. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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