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Some people say that charity organizations are established to aid the people in a great need, no matter where they live, however some agree that they should support their own country first discuss and state your views. v.1

Some people say that charity organizations are established to aid the people in a great need, no matter where they live, however some agree that they should support their own country first discuss and state your views. v. 1
Although few people think that kids must be sent to school when they are in early age, but some others trust that children below 7 years old are allowed to play and stay in the house. This essay agrees that kids must be given some time to start their primary education. Firstly, this essay will discuss the maturity levels that kids will get to start study and secondly, parents should allow them to play games like logical thinking and physical games also. On the other hand, they will understand the family relations. Starting pre schooling after six or seven years old the maturity levels of the kids will be good enough to understand and study. When they reach to the certain age children will have a good level of thinking skills and they will better understand how to study and when to study because they will be matured enough to read and remember. For example, a student of age ten in a class who is two years older than the rest of the class will have better knowledge to answer and respond to teachers. Further more, children will understand the importance of the family relationships and sports which help them to grow physically and mentally. By spending time with parents in home for few years before they start school will help them to understand the relations and their values and moreover, by playing games it will increase their capacity logically and to have a strong physic. For example, in recent times no one is actively participating in games and sports because in early ages, they are not getting time to spend on physical activities. In conclusion, children should be given time to play games before they start their education. I recommend that parents should guide their children to play logical games which increases their brain and physical sports which help to grow stronger.
Although few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to school when they are in early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others trust that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
below 7 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
and stay in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
their primary education.
Firstly
, this essay will discuss the maturity levels that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and
secondly
, parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
like logical thinking and physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
also
.
On the other hand
, they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
the family relations.

Starting
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre
schooling after six or seven years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
the maturity levels of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. When they reach to the certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
level of thinking
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
skills and
they will better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and when to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will
be matured
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to read and remember.
For example
, a student of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
ten in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
who is two years older than the rest of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
will have better knowledge to answer and respond to teachers.

Further
more,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
the importance of the family relationships and sports which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to grow
physically
and mentally. By spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with parents in home for few years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
school will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
the relations and their values and
moreover
, by playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
it will increase their capacity
logically
and to have a strong physic.
For example
, in recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
no one is
actively
participating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and sports
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
, they are not getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend on physical activities.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
their education. I recommend that parents should guide their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
logical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
which increases their brain and physical sports which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to grow stronger.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that charity organizations are established to aid the people in a great need, no matter where they live, however some agree that they should support their own country first discuss and state your views. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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