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Some people say that arts subjects such as painting or drawing should not be made compulsory for high school students. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people say that arts subjects such as painting or drawing should not be made compulsory for high school students. v. 2
For the holistic development of children, schools should have a perfect mix of academic as well as non-academic subjects. According to some people, it should be made compulsory for students to learn music, acting and creative writing. I agree with this viewpoint as learning these subjects will enhance their creative skills, and they will also get a much needed break from regular subjects. To begin with, having extracurricular subjects such as arts, drama and creative writing in the syllabus helps students enormously. This is because when students learn these courses, it enables them to develop their creative, thinking and imaginative skills, which are beneficial for learning academic subjects. For instance, it is easier for a student with higher imagination capabilities to solve a complex mathematics problem. Additionally, some children are blessed with artistic skills so these classes will give them a platform where they can develop these abilities further and perfect them. Another benefit of having non-academic subject in the syllabus is that it alleviates the academic pressure on children. These subjects give students a much needed break from their regular academic curriculum. Undoubtedly, competition among students has increased which can sometimes lead to stress. Therefore, it has become imperative for both schools and parents to let children spend some time doing activities which can give them a chance to relax their mind and body. For this reason, many schools have already included such subjects as part of their syllabus. If, however, students are not given this break, it will become difficult for them to stay focused, motivated and enthusiastic in other subjects because of stress. To conclude, including arts, drama and creative writing in school curriculum will help students to reap rich benefits by strengthening their thinking power and relaxing their mind; therefore, they should be made a mandatory part of the school syllabus.
For the holistic development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should have a perfect mix of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
as well
as non-academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, it should
be made
compulsory for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to learn music, acting and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
writing. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this viewpoint as learning these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
will enhance their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, and they will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
much needed
break from regular subjects.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, having extracurricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as arts, drama and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
writing in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
syllabus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
enormously
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learn these courses, it enables them to develop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
, thinking and imaginative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which are beneficial for learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
For instance
, it is easier for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
with higher imagination capabilities to solve a complex mathematics problem.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are blessed
with artistic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
these classes will give them a platform where they can develop these abilities
further
and perfect them.

Another benefit of having non-academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
syllabus
is that it alleviates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
pressure on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
much needed
break from their regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
curriculum.
Undoubtedly
, competition among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
has increased which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Therefore
, it has become imperative for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time doing activities which can give them a chance to relax their mind and body.
For this reason
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have already included such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
as part of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
syllabus
. If,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
this break, it will become difficult for them to stay focused, motivated and enthusiastic in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

To conclude
, including arts, drama and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
writing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to reap rich benefits by strengthening their thinking power and relaxing their mind;
therefore
, they should
be made
a mandatory part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
syllabus
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that arts subjects such as painting or drawing should not be made compulsory for high school students. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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