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Some people say that art subjects such as music, drama and creative writing are an essential part of education and every school should include them in its syllabus. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

Some people say that art subjects such as music, drama and creative writing are an essential part of education and every school should include them in its syllabus. v. 1
In recent years, the issue about what subjects are important in schools is becoming a debatable issue. Some individuals say that art courses such as music, drama and creative writing should be inculcated in the school curriculum as they are an important part of schooling. In my opinion, I totally disagree with this line of thought. This essay will outline the reasons for my stance which includes stress and our individual differences. Firstly, all humans are created in different ways. While some people are arts inclined, others are science inclined. Eventhough arts is necessary in our everyday lives, it should not be made compulsory in schools. In University of Uyo for instance, a study done in their first year class to check how many students would want to study arts related subjects showed that some of them tilted towards arts while some tilted towards science. This goes on to show that we have varying preferences. Secondly, arts related courses should not be made compulsory in schools as this will lead to stress in core science students which will now limit them from focusing in their areas of strength. That is to say that students should not be forced to take courses that are not related to his or her field of interest. For example in St Columbanus secondary school in Nigeria, science students are made to offer arts too. When asked how they cope with the workload, these students revealed that they are really stressed. This goes on to show that burdening students with courses that won't be relevant to them in future is not necessary. In summary, while individuals have different views about arts being an important part of learning, in my opinion, I disagree with this fact because of the resultant stress it will lead to.
In recent years, the issue about what subjects are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
is becoming a debatable issue.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
such as music, drama and creative writing should
be inculcated
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum as they are an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of schooling. In my opinion, I
totally
disagree with this line of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
. This essay will outline the reasons for my stance which includes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and our individual differences.

Firstly
, all humans
are created
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
inclined, others are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
inclined.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Eventhough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is necessary in our everyday
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, it should not
be made
compulsory in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. In University of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Uyo
for instance
, a study done in their
first
year
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would want to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
related subjects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them tilted towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tilted towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
. This goes on to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that we have varying preferences.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
should not
be made
compulsory in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
as this will lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
in core
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
limit them from focusing in their areas of strength.
That is
to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should not
be forced
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
that are not related to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
field of interest.
For example
in St
Possible spelling mistake found.
Columbanus
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in Nigeria,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are made
to offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
too. When asked how they cope with the workload, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
revealed that they are
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
. This goes on to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that burdening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
that won't be relevant to them in future is not necessary.

In summary, while individuals have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
being an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of learning, in my opinion, I disagree with this fact
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the resultant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
it will lead to.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that art subjects such as music, drama and creative writing are an essential part of education and every school should include them in its syllabus. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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