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Some people say that all young people should have full-time education until they are 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.2

Some people say that all young people should have full-time education until they are 18 years old. with this opinion? v. 2
Some people suggest that students had better spend most of their available time on receiving education until they adequately turn 18 years of age. In my opinion, I am inclined to completely agree with this point of view. Teenagers will certainly face drawbacks if they combine work with study simultaneously. First of all, it is challenging to stay intensively focused on academic work and obtain the expected result. It seems evident that learners are not capable of acquiring knowledge totally and maybe diminish their performance at school, thereby getting disappointing scores are inevitable. Above all, the student’s learning process can be interrupted, particularly for school children with the lack of self-organization skills, incompetent to balance work and study. It appears that the study might come to a halt once one has started working. There are many obvious merits of full-time schooling until they reach 18 years old. With regard to career advancement, possessing a high school diploma is the first fundamental requirement if students want to pursue higher education or apply curriculum vitae in any company. Therefore, high school graduates chase a top job that affords a lucrative salary, along with decent wellbeing and a generous retirement package. Furthermore, the school is not only an ideal place to gain insights, but also contribute to moral and social background. To clarify, it is evident that almost all children who fully receive teachers’ and school staff supervision as well as protection, and the guidance of their school reduce remarkably anti-social behaviour and the livelihood of yielding to temptations. In conclusion, in light of the aforementioned reasons, I am convinced that the school leaving age should be 18 and full-time education is indispensable.
Some
people
suggest that students had better spend most of their available time on receiving education until they
adequately
turn 18 years of age. In my opinion, I
am inclined
to completely
agree
with this point of view.

Teenagers
will
certainly
face drawbacks if they combine work with study
simultaneously
.
First of all
, it is challenging
to stay
intensively
focused on academic work and obtain the
expected
result. It seems evident that learners are not capable of acquiring knowledge
totally
and maybe diminish their performance at
school
, thereby getting disappointing scores are inevitable.
Above all
, the student’s learning process can
be interrupted
,
particularly
for
school
children with the lack of self-organization
skills
, incompetent to balance work and study. It appears that the study might
come
to a halt once one has
started
working.

There are
many
obvious merits of full-time schooling until they reach 18 years
old
. With regard to career advancement, possessing a high
school
diploma is the
first
fundamental requirement if students want to pursue higher education or apply curriculum vitae in any
company
.
Therefore
, high
school
graduates chase a top job that affords a lucrative salary, along with decent
wellbeing
and a generous retirement package.
Furthermore
, the
school
is not
only
an ideal place to gain insights,
but
also
contribute to moral and social background. To clarify, it is evident that almost all children who
fully
receive teachers’ and
school
staff supervision
as well
as protection, and the guidance of their
school
reduce
remarkably
anti-social
behaviour
and the livelihood of yielding to temptations.

In conclusion
, in light of the aforementioned reasons, I
am convinced
that the
school leaving
age should be 18 and full-time education is indispensable.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that all young people should have full-time education until they are 18 years old. with this opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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