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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: borrowing money from a friend can harm or damage the friendship? v.2

: borrowing money from a friend can harm or damage the friendship? v. 2
Friends play an important role on people' s lives. It has been said that after families, friends are the people who are more important on our lives. In today' s societies, there are many people who only valued their friends based on the benefits that he or she might get from this relationship. Each person will provide a different concept regarding this topic, and each opinion will rely in some factors such as educational, social, economical and even familiar backgrounds. As far as I' m concern, there is nothing bad when one asks a friend for some money. To support my point of view, I will develop some arguments in the next paragraphs. In the first place, people consider friends like families. After spending many years interacting with a friend, one become very familiar with him or her, and even consider this person like a family member. With this plight in mind, let' s make a breaf assesment about a situtation that occured with me a few years ago. As we should know, college requires an exagerate investment of money. Therefore, in countries such as Dominican Republic where people don' t get educational loans, some times students faced economical problems and because of that the fastest solution is to ask friends for money. This was the case with me, I spent all my money in a research project and my best friend lent me 50 box. Thanks to him, I could finish my week until my parents send me some cash. Another aspect important that should be addressed in this explanation is that friends are always able to help. If someone' s friend has a dificult situation, then one also become worry for that. Hence, money is a minor factor that should not be considered when a real friendship exists. Even though there are people that before making a friend assess the economical status of that person, it seems to me that they are not sincere. In addition, a good friendship cannot be bough with money. For instance, I remember one day that, I was feeling really sick, since my parents lived very far, my friend was the only one who helped, and took me to the hospital. If would not have had because my friend helped me, no one would have took me to the hospital. To sum up, for the reasons stated above, I consider that there is nothing bad when one borrows money from friends because one might have an emergency and friends are also able to help. Also, money is not always the most important.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Friends
play an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
role on
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. It has
been said
that after families,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s societies, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
valued their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
based on the benefits that he or she might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from this relationship. Each person will provide a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
concept regarding this topic, and each opinion will
The verb 'to rely' requires the preposition '(up)on': "rely on".
rely
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factors such as educational, social, economical and even familiar backgrounds. As far as
Possible spelling mistake found.
I&
#039; m concern, there is nothing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
when one asks a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. To support my point of view, I will develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arguments in the
next
paragraphs.

In the
first
place,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
like families. After spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years interacting with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
, one become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
familiar with him or her, and even consider this person like a family member. With this plight in mind,
Possible spelling mistake found.
let&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
breaf
Possible spelling mistake found.
assesment
about a
Possible spelling mistake found.
situtation
that
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "occurred", the past tense form of the verb 'occur'?
occured
with me a few years ago. As we should know, college requires an
Possible spelling mistake found.
exagerate
investment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Therefore
, in countries such
A determiner is probably missing here: "as the Dominican Republic".
as Dominican Republic
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
educational loans,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
times students faced
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
problems and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that the fastest solution is to ask
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. This was the case with me, I spent all my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in a research project and my best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
lent me 50 box. Thanks to him, I could finish my week until my parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cash.

Another aspect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
that should
be addressed
in this explanation is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are always able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. If
Possible spelling mistake found.
someone&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
has a
Possible spelling mistake found.
dificult
situation, then one
also
become
The verb 'worry' does not normally take the preposition 'for'. Did you mean "worry about"?
worry for
that.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is a minor factor that should not
be considered
when a real friendship exists.
Even though
there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
assess the
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
status of that person, it seems to me that they are not sincere.

In addition
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
friendship cannot be bough with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
For instance
, I remember one day that, I was feeling
really
sick, since my parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
far, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
, and took me to the hospital. If
Consider removing 'would'. (Usually, 'would' does not occur in a conditional clause, unless to make a request or give a polite order.)
would not have
had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me, no one would have
Use past participle here: "taken".
took
me to the hospital.

To sum up, for the reasons stated above, I consider that there is nothing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
when one borrows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
one might have an emergency and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are
also
able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not always the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay : borrowing money from a friend can harm or damage the friendship? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
429 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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