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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we don't really need. Others say that advertisements tells us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? v.2

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we don't really need. Others say that advertisements tells us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? v. 2
During this moderation, is often argued that advertisement triggers the consumerism culture; however, others believe that it is beneficial to inform us about the latest products on the markets with a peace of mind. I personally advocate that we are really provoked to purchase more and more by the affect by that trend. As will be mentioned below. As can be seen, recent advertising has a crucial role in motivating the people’s decision to make an order. As long as most companies basically are linking successful and glamorous images, a significant population will be motivated to own their stock. To exemplify, all known figureheads are used during the endorsements. That’s why a good deal of the community members is buying non-essentials either online or from stores. Turning to children who are attracted by that trend. Although most ads, that is done to minors are banned in some countries, unfortunately it still can be seen in other countries. After they are have been exposed to that, a lot of parents are persuaded to obey their offspring. That’s a major reason that creates a financial issue. For instance, some organisations are using a well famous cartoon character, and unfortunately they can not differentiate between an actual tv program and a commercial one. If this issue continued, that would ruin youngster’s attitude, to appreciate what they have. In conclusion, while some believe that commercial could be helpful in the society, I strongly recommend it could direct us with a hidden encouragement to follow most recent fashion, and grabs child's attention and that has a detrimental complication which is capable to ruin their moral values.
During this moderation, is
often
argued that advertisement triggers the consumerism culture;
however
, others believe that it is beneficial to inform us about the latest products on the markets with a peace of mind. I
personally
advocate that we are
really
provoked to
purchase
more and more by the
affect
by that trend. As will
be mentioned
below.

As can be
seen
, recent advertising has a crucial role in motivating the
people
’s decision to
make
an order.
As
long as most
companies
basically
are linking successful and glamorous images, a significant population will
be motivated
to
own
their stock. To exemplify, all known figureheads are
used
during the endorsements. That’s why a
good
deal of the community members is buying non-essentials either online or from stores.

Turning to children who
are attracted
by that trend. Although most ads, that
is done
to minors
are banned
in
some
countries, unfortunately it
still
can be
seen
in other countries. After they are
have
been exposed
to that,
a lot of
parents
are persuaded
to obey their offspring. That’s a major reason that creates a financial issue.
For instance
,
some
organisations
are using a well
famous
cartoon character, and unfortunately they can not differentiate between an actual
tv
program and a commercial one. If this issue continued, that would ruin youngster’s attitude, to appreciate what they have.

In conclusion
, while
some
believe that commercial could be helpful in the society, I
strongly
recommend it could direct us with a hidden encouragement to follow most recent fashion, and grabs child's attention and that has a detrimental complication which is capable to ruin their moral values.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we don't really need. Others say that advertisements tells us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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