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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we don't really need. Others say that advertisements tells us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we don't really need. Others say that advertisements tells us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? v. 1
Nowadays, every individual is exposed to advertising during their day time. Some claim that these advertisements convince us to purchase unnecessary things. The others claim that they can be beneficial for us to increase our life standards. This essay will examine these two views and I will share my own opinion and why I completely agree with the former idea. People who argue that advertising encourages us to buy things we do not really need, think people can see an advertisement on TV or the internet and they can purchase it without any reason. Their biggest supporter is social media, it is obvious to see the effects of social media on people especially persuade them to buy something unessential. Also, they claim that if any celebrity shares a product on their official account on social media they can easily influence people, that is why famous brands pay a lot of money to these celebrities for commercial purposes. Others claim that advertising can change our lives in an appropriate way. They believe that people can be informed about cutting-edge technologies and useful tools for household tasks by commercials and other advertising tools. Also, they support the commercial companies to learn new brands and they believe these companies have a tremendous impact on society. Moreover, they believe celebrities can lead our lives for a better future. In many cases, they do what celebrities suggest without any queries. In my opinion, advertising can cause misleading and overconsumption in society. Firstly, I claim that people who are under a certain age can be persuaded easily to buy unnecessary things. Also, these unessential purchases may trigger a bigger problem which is overconsumption. They should be informed about these actions by authorities. For example, recently I saw a commercial on TV about a fancy bookmark and after a short time I started to observe that the majority of adolescents have this product, even though they don’t really need it. Moreover, I have experienced it a lot of time, on social media some celebrities and influencers attempt to make people buy the product of their sponsorship. That’s why I believe advertising misleads people to buy unnecessary things. In conclusion, there are two different ideas which separate people into two groups about advertising. Therefore, I strongly agree with the former idea, which claims that advertising encourages people to purchase the unessential things.
Nowadays, every individual
is exposed
to advertising during their day time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
claim
that these advertisements convince us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
unnecessary things. The others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
claim
that they can be beneficial for us to increase our life standards. This essay will examine these two views and I will share my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion and why I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who argue that advertising encourages us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things we do not
really
need,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
an advertisement on TV or the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
internet and
they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
it without any reason. Their biggest supporter is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, it is obvious to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
especially
persuade them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
something unessential.
Also
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
claim
that if any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
shares a product on their official account on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
they can
easily
influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
that is
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
brands pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
purposes.

Others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
claim
that advertising can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
Consider replacing "in an appropriate way" with the adverb for "appropriate"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an appropriate way
. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
be informed
about cutting-edge technologies and useful tools for household tasks by commercials and other advertising tools.
Also
, they support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to learn new
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
brands and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have a tremendous impact on society.
Moreover
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
can lead our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
for a better future. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases, they do what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
suggest without any queries.

In my opinion, advertising can cause misleading and overconsumption in society.
Firstly
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
claim
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are under a certain age can
be persuaded
easily
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
unnecessary things.
Also
, these unessential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchases
may trigger a bigger problem which is overconsumption. They should
be informed
about these actions by authorities.
For example
, recently I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
on TV about a fancy bookmark and after a short time I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to observe that the majority of adolescents have this product,
even though
they don’t
really
need it.
Moreover
, I have experienced it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time, on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
and influencers attempt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the product of their sponsorship. That’s why I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
advertising misleads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
unnecessary things.

In conclusion
, there are two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
which separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
into two groups about advertising.
Therefore
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
claims
that advertising encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
the unessential things.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we don't really need. Others say that advertisements tells us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
394 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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