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More people will work from home and more students will study at home is Computer technology become cheaper and accessible. What will be the advantages and disadvantages if this happens? v.2

More people will work from home and more students will study at home is Computer technology become cheaper and accessible. What will be the advantages and disadvantages if this happens? v. 2
It is no doubt that these days, using computer technology is becoming increasingly popular in recent times. However the question: Are working and studying online useful trends or not? Is considered one of the most serious issues today. In this essay, we are going to discuss this phenomenon from both viewpoints and the reasons. The first argument suggests that the benefits far outweigh the disadvantages. The main reason for believing this is that using technology saves much money. For example, we will not need to spend extra money for studying or getting a job abroad. It is also possible to say that if using the internet is cheaper and accessible, it will save some time for ourselves and other people. Two good illustrations of this are finishing more tasks than normal way, and having enough time for exciting hobbies. On the other hand, the second argument is totally considered an opposing case. It is commonly thought of the fact that working and studying from home only will have a negative effect on the whole society. People often have this opinion because they will damage soft skills, such as communication and teamwork skills. In the addition, a second point is careless of the importance of time. One particularly good example here is wasting time in playing games because of feeling bored. In conclusion, we clearly saw that there are no easy answers to these questions. This essay explained that how the advantages are more than the disadvantages as technology is the key to change our life for the better. Although this trend makes our life comfortable, we should put into consideration to make a balance between both sides.
It is no doubt that these days, using computer technology is becoming
increasingly
popular in recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the question: Are working and studying online useful trends or not?
Is considered
one of the most serious issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. In this essay, we are going to discuss this phenomenon from both viewpoints and the reasons.

The
first
argument suggests that the benefits far outweigh the disadvantages. The main reason for believing this is that using technology saves much money.
For example
, we will not need to spend extra money for studying or getting a job abroad. It is
also
possible to say that if using the internet is cheaper and accessible, it will save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for ourselves and other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Two
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustrations of this are finishing more tasks than normal way, and having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for exciting hobbies.

On the other hand
, the second argument is
totally
considered an opposing case. It is
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of the fact that working and studying from home
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect
on the whole
society.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will damage soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, such as communication and teamwork
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. In the addition, a second point is careless of the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. One
particularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example here is wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in playing games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of feeling bored.

In conclusion
, we
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
that there are no easy answers to these questions. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
that how the advantages are more than the disadvantages as technology is the key to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our life for the better. Although this trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
our life comfortable, we should put into consideration to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a balance between both sides.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay More people will work from home and more students will study at home is Computer technology become cheaper and accessible. What will be the advantages and disadvantages if this happens? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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