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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? v.8

Try to think as far back as you can, selling of products have always needed to entice customers. Sellers try hard to convince people in the street, on the television, on social media, and what not. In this passage we will see why some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Sellers don't know, and also don't care if the person they are approaching really needs their product. When this happens there are 4 outcomes, the person rejects the offer because he doesn't need it, accepts the offer as he has been looking forward to buy it, reject the offer because he can't afford it, and accepts the offer because the salesman sold it. When the 4th outcome occurs, this results into unnecessarily buying stuff we actually don't need. Advertisements only helps the sellers not the buyers. A logical reasoning behind advertisment only benefits sellers is that that sellers have to pay for the adverstiment and that's why it is known as an investment in their product. Advertising is not a social service that it will help people. It is not even a win-win situation for buyers and sellers. If a buyer wants to buy a particular thing which he/she actually needs then they are going to search for it, but the problem is even curiously searching for things on google we don't need is recorded by google or facebook or some other companies like these. These companies will them constantly prompt you with the advertisements related to your last few searches and almost convincing you to buy that particular product even though we don't need it. Many have been the victim of this forceful selling of products.
Try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
as far back as you can, selling of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
have always needed to entice customers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sellers
try
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to convince
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the street, on the television, on social media, and what not. In this passage we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that advertising encourages us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things that we
really
do not need.

Sellers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
don't
know, and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
don't
care if the person they are approaching
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. When this happens there are 4 outcomes, the person rejects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he doesn't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
it, accepts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
as he has been looking forward to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it, reject the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he can't afford it, and accepts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the salesman sold it. When the 4th outcome occurs, this results into
unnecessarily
buying stuff we actually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
. Advertisements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sellers
not the buyers.

A logical reasoning behind
Possible spelling mistake found.
advertisment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sellers
is that that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sellers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
adverstiment
and that's why it
is known
as an investment in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. Advertising is not a social service that it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. It is not even a win-win situation for buyers and sellers.

If a buyer wants to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a particular thing which he/she actually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
then they are going to search for it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the problem is even
curiously
searching for things on google we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
is recorded
by google or
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
like these. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
will them
constantly
prompt you with the advertisements related to your last few searches and almost convincing you to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
that particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
even though
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
have been the victim of this forceful selling of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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