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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? v.7

Few people have conception in mind that a good promotion of brand by any means cheers to purchage things that they do not required but some say that commercial helps us know more about the product that could help in their routines. This statement agrees that a good advertisement of any brand encourages us to buy things which they do not even required. This easy is going to discuss about the advertisement being the reason for overbuying of things and leads to unequal competition. Every family decides some buget before buying their grosseries but after seeing the advertisement of the products which are endorsed by their favourite modelts they tends to buy those items which are even may not be useful to them and that eventually impacts their budgets. e. g. when people go to buy milk and they saw a model who advertise some biscuits then we think we should atleast try eating with the milk or coffee. This is the market strategy of the big industry giants. In the market there are multiple brands available for the similar kind of products but people prefer to choose those which they gets set in their unconscious mind after watching any branch advertisement. And whenever they see multiple products of the same branch in the shopping mall automatically they select the product which they saw in the branch commercial. All the companies starts focusing on the advertisement rather than focusing on quality of the product. In conclusion advertisement is the major reason which cheers people to purchase unnecessay things.
Few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have conception in mind that a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
promotion of brand by any means cheers to
Possible spelling mistake found.
purchage
things that they do not required
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
say that commercial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us know more about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
that could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in their routines. This statement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
The usual collocation for “advertisement” is “for”, not “of”. Did you mean “advertisement for”?
advertisement of
any brand encourages us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things which they do not even required. This easy is going to
Did you mean simply “discuss the”? You do not need the word “about” here.
discuss about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
being the reason for overbuying of things and leads to unequal competition.

Every family decides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
buget
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
buying their
Possible spelling mistake found.
grosseries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after seeing the
The usual collocation for “advertisement” is “for”, not “of”. Did you mean “advertisement for”?
advertisement of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which
are endorsed
by their
Possible spelling mistake. ‘favourite’ is British English.
favourite
Possible spelling mistake found.
modelts
they
The pronoun ‘they’ must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: “tend”
tends
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
those items which are even may not be useful to them and that
eventually
impacts their budgets.
There should be no space here: “e.g.”.
e. g.
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
milk and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a model who advertise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
biscuits then we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we should
Possible spelling mistake found.
atleast
try eating with the milk or coffee. This is the market strategy of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
industry giants.

In the market there are multiple brands available for the similar kind of
Use a comma before ‘but’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to choose those which they
The pronoun ‘they’ must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: “get”
gets
set in their unconscious mind after watching any branch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
. And whenever they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
of the same branch in the shopping mall
automatically
they select the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
in the branch commercial. All the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
focusing on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
rather
than focusing on quality of the product.

In conclusion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is the major reason which cheers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
Possible spelling mistake found.
unnecessay
things.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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