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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. v.42

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. v. 42
I agree with the viewpoint that “advertising anchorages us to buy things that we really do not need. ” Another word for advertisement is ‘a tool of marketing strategy’. To introduce their product or services or to promote their product or services this advertisement will highly useful. If we have never seen an advertisement of a product and first time see that product in the market, we never want to buy. That is, we do not like to just try. If we have already seen that product in the advertisement, we may want to buy it and see how it works. That is by seeing an advertisement over and over again, we indirectly become familiar with that product before we buy and use it. To make us familiar with the products, the product owners make sure we watch their  advertisements again and again. In the advertisement, they show only the advantages of the product. That is an advantage for the marketers, but a disadvantage for the customers. While the marketing people encourage us to buy the things, we need to identify its disadvantages only after experiencing the product or services. Some products are really essential for our life while some are not at all essential. Sometimes we purchase products that are optional for us. We may experience a new detergent powder since it was telecasted several times.   This is the insisting part of advertisements on customers’ mind. Each customer is different. All are not same. Same product will not convince all the public. Some products target children, kinder joy, chocolates, toys, cartoon products and etc. Even though parents know that a product is not good for their children, but they are insisted in buying the product by the children. Children get attracted to a product after  they see the advertisement on television. Finally, I would conclude, that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the viewpoint that “advertising anchorages us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things that we
really
do not need. ” Another word for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is ‘a tool of marketing strategy’. To introduce their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
or services or to promote their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
or services this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
will
highly
useful.

If we have never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
an
The usual collocation for "advertisement" is "for" not "of". Did you mean "advertisement for"?
advertisement of
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and
first
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
in the market, we never want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
.
That is
, we do not like to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
try. If we have already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
, we may want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how it works.
That is
by seeing an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
over and over again, we
indirectly
become familiar with that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us familiar with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
owners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
their
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
again and again.

In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the advantages of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
That is
an advantage for the marketers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a disadvantage for the customers. While the marketing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
encourage us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the things, we need to identify its disadvantages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
after experiencing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
or services.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are
really
essential for our life while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are not at all essential.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that are optional for us. We may experience a new detergent powder since it was
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "telecast", the past tense form of the verb 'telecast'?
telecasted
several times.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
This is the insisting part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
on customers’ mind.

Each customer is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
. All are not same. Same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
will not convince all the public.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
target
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, kinder joy, chocolates, toys, cartoon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
.
Even though
parents know that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
are insisted
in buying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attracted to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
after
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
on television.
Finally
, I would conclude, that advertising encourages us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things that we
really
do not need.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. v. 42

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
320 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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