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Some people say that a person’s success is as a direct result of the way they were brought up by their parents. v. 2

Success differs from person to person. While some people think that parenthood caring does not have any relationship with person’s success, I, however, strongly disagree with this view for two reasons. The main significant reason in terms of an individual’s success which is brought by the guardians is hereditary talent. While some might argue that parental upbringing does not matter to succeed the person, I feel that some children are already gifted with many skills in their childhood which is due to usually their mother or father possess that aptitudes. For instance, if a child is an expert in solving math problems, it is evident that any one or both of his parents can possess such abilities. Family support is another reason. While I concede that most children tend to achieve success in the future without the support of their parents, I would argue that parents supportive attitude towards a child chosen career can lead to success, and such support could foster child's interest in that particular field. For example, having an obedient nature many children often have a dream to become an astronaut or an engineer, so there is every likelihood to get a supportive hand from the parents which results in them to have a better avenue by being a successful person. In contrast, without their support, child would be less inclined to fulfil his dream to be a successive person. As a result, he might quit from his goal due to dearth of supportive hand. To sum up, not only does child’s authorize some skills since their birth by genes, but also supportive hand of their parent are the reasons for their success. Therefore, I strongly believe parents upbringing are interrelated to a person’s success.

IELTS essay Some people say that a person’s success is as a direct result of the way they were brought up by their parents. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Success differs from person to person. While
some
people
think
that parenthood caring does not have any relationship with person’s success, I,
however
,
strongly
disagree with this view for two reasons. The main significant reason in terms of an individual’s success which
is brought
by the guardians is hereditary talent. While
some
might argue that parental upbringing does not matter to succeed the person, I feel that
some
children are already gifted with
many
skills
in their childhood which is due to
usually
their mother or father possess that aptitudes.
For instance
, if a child is an expert in solving math problems, it is evident that
any one
or both of his parents can possess such abilities. Family support is another reason. While I concede that most children tend to achieve success in the future without the support of their parents, I would argue that parents supportive attitude towards a child chosen career can lead to success, and such support could foster child's interest in that particular field.
For example
, having an obedient nature
many
children
often
have a dream to become an astronaut or an engineer,
so
there is every likelihood to
get
a supportive hand from the parents which results in them to have a better avenue by being a successful person.
In contrast
, without their support, child would be less inclined to fulfil his dream to be a successive person.
As a result
, he might quit from his goal due to dearth of supportive hand. To sum up, not
only
does
child’s
authorize
some
skills
since their birth by genes,
but
also
supportive hand of their parent are the reasons for their success.
Therefore
, I
strongly
believe parents upbringing
are interrelated
to a person’s success.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
4 paragraphs
288 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Band score ≥ 7
  • Band score ≤ 6
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